How to tell someone to back off nicely

Ask Reddit can help you purge the toxic people from your life.

1. I wish we were better strangers.

2. Sometimes you just meet someone, and you instantly realize you wanna spend your whole life without them.

You are one of those people to me.

3. To most people I say, Auf Wiedersehen, which means the equivalent of ‘see you later’; but to you sir, as I have no intention of ever speaking with you again, I say, goodbye.

4. I envy those that haven’t met you.

5. There is nothing to be gained by further conversation. Goodbye.

6. I think it’s best if you pretend we never met, I already have. Thank you for your understanding.

7. I value your opinion and wish to pick up this conversation at a later date.

8. If I never hear you speak again it will still be far too soon.

9. I no longer wish to put any time or effort into pursing any type of relationship with you.

10. All things must come to an end. Whatever this is must also come to an end. Enjoy your life.

11. I never forget a face but in your case I’ll make an exception.

12. Spare me the pleasure of your company.

13. Is $20 enough to convince you to leave me alone for the rest of my life?

14. I have outgrown you.

15. I’m going to fuck off now, I think you should too.

16. The hardest choices require the strongest wills. We mustn’t interact with one another no more.

17. With all due respect, I feel this conversation is not going anywhere. We’re talking ourselves in circles and it’s clear that we are not equipped to agree with one another. Take care.

18. Best of luck to you and hope life treats you the way you deserve.

19. I won’t do this song and dance with you. I’m letting the music play out.

20. I don’t wish you any ill will, but I have no desire to speak to you ever again.

21. Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.

22. You’re highly affectively affecting my life quality in a negative manner and therefore I need you to stay at least a timezone away from me.

23. Off is the general direction in which you should fuck. Kindly refrain from contacting me again.

24. I liked you better as a stranger.

25. What’s your name again?

26. I would like to be more polite, but I have no interest in continuing a conversation with you.

27. Escort thyself from my existence, and consider not another utterance.

28. Just going out for some smokes sport, see you in five minutes…

29. May you engage in sexual intercourse far from here, whilst nevermore burdening thyself in confabulation with yours truly.

30. I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.

31. I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to express how i feel about you.

32. Nice knowing you.

33. I don’t think it will be necessary for us to see each other again.

34. Hey, I really gotta go, and I’m really busy lately. Tell you what, I’ll call you when I’m less busy.

35. Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle.

36. I will let you know when you matter.

37. I think we are having too many unhappy moments. Maybe we could try this again in the future.

38. Lose my number.

39. Be on with your life, friend.

40. I think it would be best for both of us if we each went our own way from here.

41. I don’t find conversing with you to be productive. Enjoy your day.

42. I’m even less interested in you than in finishing this sentence, thus…

43. Clearly ONE of us has made a mistake, and wasted the OTHER’s valuable time.

44. The way I’m feeling right now is that I never want to talk to you again. I’m asking you to respect that feeling. If I ever feel differently, I’ll let you know. Until that time comes, and I’m not saying it will, please don’t contact me.

45. I’ll pray for you.

46. There are 171,476 words in the English dictionary but none describe how much I wish to hit you with a chair.

47. Why don’t you make like a tree, and get out of here?

48. You possess all of the virtues I despise and none of the vices I admire. I hope that we can become better strangers to each other.

49. This is where we part ways. I wish you the best, but it’s important that you no longer contact me.

50. Via text messaging,

You: “I love you/miss you, we should hang out etc.”

Them: “K”

One strategy, offered by Lizzie Post, for asking someone to back off is to say: "I'm trying to maintain the six-foot distance. Do you mind giving me a little more space, please?" (Illustration by Kay Scanlon / Los Angeles Times)

You suited up in your homemade face covering and disposable gloves to buy groceries. But the person behind you in the checkout line is inching closer and closer. What do you say? What do you do?

In the age of self-quarantines and social distancing, it's a whole new world of etiquette. Things that were once considered polite — handshakes, holding the door, helping a neighbor with their arms full — are now verboten.

The most gracious, courteous thing you can do for others right now is to stay at home. When you absolutely must go out, though, you may find some people apparently haven't heard of this whole stand-at-least-six-feet-apart thing.

Part of the reason you might be having trouble asserting physical boundaries right now is that this is so new to all of us. In many cases, it goes against our deeply ingrained patterns of behavior. We're used to standing right behind people in line at the grocery store, and cheerfully passing mere inches from each other on the sidewalk.

We have to overcome our own normal behaviors and also figure out how to modulate other people's behaviors. That can be a challenge.

"I don't think we like asking things of others or telling people they're doing something wrong," said Lizzie Post, the president of the Emily Post Institute and the author of several books on modern etiquette. "We like having expectations and standards to follow. They're what glue us together as a society. And at the same time, we don't like being told what to do."

So how do you politely tell someone "hey, back off"? The exact words you use matter less than how you deliver them, Post said. Focus on being friendly, pleasant, and nonthreatening. Everyone is stressed out right now; the last thing you want is to do is escalate the situation.

"Rather than putting up a strong arm and saying, 'Um, can you back up six feet, please?' the other way you can say it to someone is, 'I'm sorry. I'm trying to maintain the six-foot distance. Do you mind giving me a little more space, please?'" Post said.

You can also "borrow authority" if you don't feel comfortable asserting yourself. Alison Green, who writes the workplace advice blog Ask A Manager, says that in this case, you can blithely defer to health officials. Something like, "Oh, I think we're supposed to be staying six feet apart, if you wouldn't mind just backing up a little bit," or "You know, I think the CDC is saying we should stay six feet apart, so let's keep some distance."

Try to give others the benefit of the doubt. We're not used to staying six feet away from all people at all times. We all have a lot on our minds right now, and it's possible they just aren't paying attention to where they're standing.

"Don't go into it with the assumption that they're totally ignorant or making some sort of point," Green said. "If you're just warm and nice about it, it's fine. If you sound chilly, it's going to feel chilly to them."

Out in public, you might feel like you're locked in a permanent game of "Frogger" with your fellow sidewalk patrons. Remember that you do have the option to be the one to physically move yourself, even if you feel you have the right of way.

Americans "have this cultural 'why should I be the one to move?' thing in us, and it is not our friend right now," said Jennifer Peepas, who writes the advice blog Captain Awkward. Resist that urge to stand your ground, she said, and remember that the kindest thing you can do for others and for yourself right now is to maintain that six-foot barrier.

If you're in a situation where you're coming up behind someone and they may not be aware of it — for instance, if you're jogging — it's definitely your responsibility to be the one to move, she said.

Paula Cannon, a virologist and professor at the Keck School of Medicine at USC, said the six-feet-apart message is only meant to apply to situations where you're standing still. She prefers to keep more distance than that. Encounters on the sidewalk or in a store are a chance for you to do something pretty amazing: Model kind, courteous, safe behavior for others.

"If I'm out walking in my neighborhood and somebody is walking up the sidewalk, I walk in the road," she said. "I put 10 to 20 feet between me and them. I wave, I smile. What I'm doing is modeling appropriate behavior, and I'm doing it out of a sense of care and consideration. I think it's important to message to other people [that] your behavior — no matter how weird it is — you're doing it because you care about them, not because you're afraid of them."

In normal, nonpandemic times, fleeing into the street when someone approaches you on the sidewalk might be considered rude. Even now, it feels strange. But it's also the most thoughtful thing you can do for your fellow human beings.