How could i sound anything silly im plastic

Martin! Good lord man, if you’re going to be staying in the Archives, at least have the decency to put some trousers on!

• The same episode opens with Martin wanting to give a statement, with Jon arguing that it's foolish because most of their statements are from liars and insane people. Martin is still insistent, saying that Jon can vouch for his sanity. Cue a long pause before Jon says "That's besides the point".

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    Season 2 

• Episode 42: Jon pauses in his paranoid suspicions about Martin to critique some of the poetry Martin left behind when he moved out of the archives.
• In Episode 50, Tim gets suspicious of Basira, and says as much to Jon, but in his attempts to both assure Tim everything is fine and to not reveal his own private investigations, he accidentally gets Tim thinking that the two are secretly dating. Cue several hilariously awkward conversations.
• Episode 56: the turning point of Jon's skepticism comes when he comments that he believes Trevor's account of a hollow woman occupied by thousands of spiders solely because "I'm not lucky enough for it to be false."
• In episode 59, Jon remarks in his addendum that the crew has been avoiding him lately, adding to his suspicions. He fails to consider that this might have anything to do with him being a creepy weirdo stalking them lately.
• In Episode 79, one of the biggest jump scares on the show becomes darkly hilarious because of the timing and how it answers Martin's question just before:

  Martin: So you really think the Institute is, what, haunted?
  Tim: I used to. Now I think it’s worse.
  Martin: Worse how?
  [a door bursts open and a horrific-looking Not!Sasha chasing Jon charges past them]

• In the midst of the Wham Episode that is Episode 80, Jurgen Leitner reveals that along with the many attempts on his life by people affected by his books, Gerard Keay once found him and beat him up. There's something darkly funny about how comparatively mild it is next to everything else Leitner has been through and what the audience knows Gerard to be capable of by that point. Even Jon is momentarily amused despite the circumstances.
  • This becomes even funnier in Episode 111, where Gerard's spirit says he let him go because he though he was just beating up a pathetic old man who couldn't have been Jurgen Leitner.

    Season 3 

• In Episode 83, Jon tries to assure Georgie that his behavior isn't because he's on drugs, and she just scoffs.

  Jon: What? [offended] I could be on drugs!

• Episode 87 revolves around Sebastian Skinner, a repairman lured out to a cult compound so servants of the Stranger could torment him. Except that Sebastian, who is by his own admission incredibly absent-minded, pays so little attention on the job that he doesn't actually notice anything wrong. The annoyed cult has to call him back the next day and physically shove his face in the horror to get the reaction they wanted.
• In Episode 92, following a series of shocking reveals by Jon to the other Institute workers, this exchange. It's Tim's perfectly deadpan response that sells it:

  Melanie: This is insane!
  Tim: You get used to it.

• Also very Heartwarming, in the opening of Episode 93, as Jon begins to record the statement, Georgie's cat, the Admiral, apparently climbs into Jon's lap and wants to get its belly rubbed.

  Jon: Yep, that's your arse. Thanks for that.

  • Later, in the same episode, Jon finally comes clean to Georgie, who asks him to prove his Compelling Voice ability. He asks her to tell him something she'd never tell him of her own free will, and she blurts out that when they first met, she thought his accent was faked to make himself sound smarter.
  • The fact that, after spending so many episodes worrying about how she'd take the news if she found out about the supernatural and Jon's transformation... Georgie's completely cool with it. She believes him immediately, and doesn't mind one bit that her friend is being used as an avatar.
• While Nikola's threatening Jon was a very sinister scene, there's something darkly hilarious in how blunt this interaction is:

  Jon: You, um...You killed Gregor Orsinov?

  Nikola: Yep! He got really boring, and I’m a monster! I mean, what did you want me to do? Not pull him apart?...I did use all the bits!

  Jon: I...Y...Y-you don’t...sound Russian?

  Nikola: How could I sound anything, silly? I’m plastic. [raps her head, with a plastic sound] I don't even have a voicebox! I had to borrow this one.

  Jon: [wordless terror]

  Nikola: Don't turn on the light.

  • She also critiques his skincare routine, and apparently gives him a facial before he manages to escape, because she didn't want to wear bad skin.
• Episode 100: The Archivist isn't at the Institute at the moment, so the other personnel are left to take statements... and the visitors they have turn out to be godawful storytellers. Every Realistic Diction Is Unrealistic trope is played to the hilt, to hilariously jarring effect compared to other statements.
  • With the Word of God confirmation that these people did encounter genuine manifestations of the entities, Robin's story becomes utterly hilarious. He stumbled into the Spiral, a nightmarish endless labyrinth of madness and delusion...and then just left. Because he didn't want to be late for dinner.
• Episode 101: After spending almost two seasons and change being beaten, threatened, injured, and kidnapped, there's something hilarious about Jon's exasperated growl when Michael announces his intent to kill him.
• Peter Lukas, on his first meeting with Martin in episode 108, calmly and politely confirming that Martin's feedback on Elias's management style is that he'd prefer "less murder."
• Episode 110: Dexter Banks, the director in "Creature Feature" sacrificing people to the Web, appears to be a parody of Quentin Tarantino. This is hilariously appropriate when you realize that the Web is the patron of spiders and the whole foot fetish thing is a Stock Parody Joke of Tarantino's — Dexter is essentially serving the power with the most feet.
• Episode 111: Jon's summation of Gerry Keay's explanation of what the Powers are:

  Jon: Like colors, but if colors hated me. Got it. Christ, I need a cigarette.

• The Patreon exclusive feed features a full episode of Georgie's "What The Ghost" podcastnote Later released to the public feed... complete with fake stereotypical podcast ads, which Georgie reads extremely reluctantly.
  • One of the sponsors is "Sparks Fly", a dating site that is pretty clearly run by the Beholding:

    Georgie: [reading the ad, shocked] "Sparks Fly: privacy is just another word for loneliness"?!

  • The next "What The Ghost" episode features more cringey ads, especially one for a meat subscription service which Georgie reads with very forced enthusiasm, after which she reminds the listeners that she's a vegetarian (though Melanie is said to have liked it).
• In the beginning of Episode 113, Jon, Martin and Melanie search one of Gertrude's old caches for a way to stop the Unknowing. Then Melanie finds it: a bunch of plastic explosive.

  Jon: Martin! Stop. Trying to touch. The plastic explosives!

  • In a meta way, there's something hilarious when it turns out that, after all the intricacies, planning and secrets necessary to stop the other rituals the way to stop the Unknowing, the most flexible and resilient of them all, is just good, old-fashioned violence.
  • Melanie also pointedly responds to Jon saying it could be C4 by asking if he's saying that because it's the only kind of plastic explosive he knows.
• In Episode 115, after reading yet another statement involving meat and cannibalism, Jon muses that even he's surprised he hasn't become a vegetarian yet.

  Jon: In my position you have to take what small pleasures you can find, and if it happens to please some horrifying meat god, well, c'est la vie.

• As the crew gears up to take on the Stranger in Episode 116, Elias briefs them on what to expect from the ascension ritual of an eldritch god of madness. He also advises to them to keep their receipts from the trip so the Archive can expense them.
• Episode 118 features Martin burning as many statements as he can to distract Elias from the fact he's called the police to arrest him. Martin is just so petulant to Elias while he does this, in stark contrast to his usually timid personality.

  Elias: Martin. Martin, open the door. [Jiggles the doorknob]

  Martin: Sorry, Elias. I can’t hear you. There’s a door in the way.

  Elias: Martin, I do not have time for this.

  Martin: Then maybe you should make time.

  Elias: Unlock the door. Now.

  Martin: I thought you had a key.

  • And later:

  Martin: I just thought I’d, you know, drop a couple of ideas in the old suggestion box. [Picks up a new statement] Turns out my suggestion is… [He lights the statement] Fire.

    Season 4 

• In Episode 127, Basira goes to see Elias, and at one point tells him to "cut the bullshit" and stop pretending he's not always watching them. He dryly replies, "Sometimes I'm eating."

• In episode 133, as Daisy tries to find a way to describe her relation to the Hunt, she asks Jon if he knows what the worst part of a case was for her. He doesn't waste a second in replying, "Police brutality lawsuit?" Daisy lets out a laugh at this.
• In Episode 136, Daisy finally tells Jon to stop moping around and feeling so sorry for himself. She tells him to go get some drinks with her, and says she'll ask Basira to come with. Jon doesn't know if Basira will want to come, so Daisy (in her best evil voice) says if she doesn't, she'll rip Basira's throat out. Jon is very scared before Daisy assures him it's a joke.
• Episode 139 shows that, in a darkly comedic way, Agnes's upbringing had shades of this. The statement giver comments that raising a messiah is much more difficult than creating one and calls young Agnes a brat, while mentioning her ability to light people on fire and cultists debating whether she should interact with normal children or focus on her role.
• In Episode 140, Jon has Basira go through his drawers for a pen.

  Basira: Uh, Jon. What's this?

  Jon: Hm? Oh! That's...uh...that's my rib.

  Basira: *Beat* ...Right.

• In Episode 150, we learn that since Melanie cannot tell her therapist the full truth about the Magnus Institute, the former only tells the latter that she's in "a bad contract situation working for someplace pretty awful". The therapist thus thinks that Melanie works for the Tories.

  Jon: [with clear disgust] ...My God.

• Episode 156:
  • Adelard Dekker, the closest thing this series has to Van Helsing, accidentally dates himself when he refers to a party as a "rave" which causes the (much younger) statement-giver to look at him funny. And he's clearly still sore over it, because he later grumbles that the party in question sounds like an accident waiting to happen, "but apparently I use the word 'rave' wrong, so what do I know?"
  • Peter enjoys using the powers of the Lonely to jumpscare Martin.

    Martin: Peter, we have talked about this!

    Peter: In my defense, it is still quite funny.

• In episode 158, in what is otherwise a very tense situation, Peter Lukas's declaration that it isn't fair he's been beaten by Martin is hilariously petulant, especially combined with Elias telling him he's been played "like a...cheap whistle".
  • Shortly beforehand, when Peter pulls out a book:

  Martin: That's a Leitner.

  Peter: It is!

  Martin: And the...blood on it?

  Peter: [cheerfully] That's Leitner too!

  • From the same episode, Jon's tired "You've gotta be fucking kidding..." when Not-Sasha turns up while Trevor and Julia are approaching.
• We finally learn how Gertrude foiled the Lonely's ritual, which involved the worst apartment block you could possibly think of filled with friendless people. Peter's plan was to make them all steadily more miserable and lonely and then kill all of them when they reached the peak. So Gertrude called up a newspaper and got them to write an article about it, which got a flood of media attention. She kneecapped the Lonely with the power of thinkpieces. Even better, Peter sounds suitably mortified at being drowned in outreach programs and complains that Gertrude didn't even have the decency to kill him.
  • Peter also remarks that it worked because he filled it with white, middle class people, so people actually cared about what happened to them.
• Episode 160: Before everything... well, goes down, Martin gets one of the best lines of the series.

  Obviously I'm going to tell you if I see any good cows.

• The 2019 live show, a sort of prequel to the podcast in which Jon settles in with his new job and reads the first two statements ("Angler Fish" and "Do Not Open"):
  • Jon entering his office (Gertrude's old office) for the first time and asking about what happened to Gertrude:

    Jon: There were a lot of rumors floating around Research, obviously. According to them, she died at this very desk.
    [Beat]
    Jon: Oh. Right.

  • The Liveshow also gives us insight into why Jon hated Martin so much when they first started working together: Martin accidentally let a dog into the Archives on his first day. It got worse from there, apparently.

    Jon: I’m sorry, Tim, I, I interrupted you –

    Tim: Oh, uh, yes, uh – mm. Hypothetically… What would you say, if I said that there was a… dog. Situation. In the Archives.

    Jon: I would ask if it was getting worse?

    Tim: (relaxing) Okay, alright, cool, so, right–

    Jon: Tim.

    Tim: Hypothetically–

    Jon: Tim.

    Tim: I – Yeah, yeah, there’s a dog situation in the Archives. There’s a – there’s a mess –

    [Jon sighs heavily.]

    Tim: (cont) Of the… doggy variety.

    Season 5 

• Episode 161: Elias/Jonah crashes Jon's birthday party...because his omniscience let him know there would be cake. Even eldritch-abomination-serving masterminds have their weaknesses...
• Episode 163:
  • While Jon and Martin running for cover in the Trench is definitely not funny, Martin cursing "shit, shit, shit" while they do it is a bit funny.
  • Jon needs to record some rather nasty stuff about their current surroundings that Martin doesn't want to hear. Before starting, he tests whether Martin successfully blocked him out by insulting him.

  Jon: Martin, I hate your tea, and wish you made coffee instead.

• Episode 164: Helen makes an appearance, and openly gushes about how adorable Jon and Martin are, much to Jon's annoyance. Martin, however, maintains a polite and pleasant demeanor with her.

  Helen: I always knew you crazy kids would make it work!

  Martin: Thanks!

  Jon: Martin...

  • Then, after she's gone:

    Martin: Maybe she's right.

    Jon: I am not, nor have I ever been "adorable."

    Martin: Okay, not true...

• Episode 165:
  • It's just so bizarrely funny when Jon reveals that he used to ride on a merry-go-round at London Zoo, and that he was in a 'bad place' mentally, while Martin fondly ribs him for it...all while there's the sounds of the gargantuan carousel created by the Stranger going on in the background, complete with familiar spooky calliope music and faint screams galore.
  • Also in Episode 165, Jon and Martin joke about the fact that the Stranger's statement was in verse (primarily iambic pentameter). Martin expresses an interest in hearing the poem, just to see what the Stranger's style is.
  • Mixes with Awesome, but there is something darkly funny about the whole Not!Sasha confrontation. Once Jon calls out Not!Sasha on her inability to actually attack them, she throws what amounts to a villainous tantrum, whining about how all the fear she can create is ruined by the Beholding. When Jon makes to leave, she makes the critical error of once again mocking her murder of Sasha... and seems to instantly regret her
    
    decision. After Jon kills her, rather than be horrified or disgusted, Martin seems genuinely impressed and proud.
• In Episode 166, set in a domain of the buried, Martin gets annoyed about how much time they're spending on "scary mud".The scary mud takes offense, and Martin hastily apologizes as dozens of screaming voices come from below him.
  • Later, after Martin has had an annoyingly vague phone call with Annabelle Cane, the scary mud starts stirring again, almost as if to comment on it.

    Martin: I know, right?

• Episode 168 starts off with Jon's realization that Martin is jealous of Oliver Banks. Oliver Banks, the sleep-deprived death prophet who interacted with Jon exactly once (waking him from his coma).
  • This exchange,

  Jon: [amused] I'm not going to kill a man just because you're jealous, Martin.

  Martin: Why not? [Beat] Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

  [another beat]

  Martin: Pleeease?

• Episode 174 is full of existential dread, right up until Simon comes along. Simon is immensely powerful in his Domain, and Jon muses that if he doesn't want to be caught, he won't be. Martin doesn't even finish cracking a joke about him showing up to his own execu—

  [sounds of something falling and crash-landing hard]

  Simon: Hello, dreadfully sorry. Only just noticed you were both here!

  • He calls the Great Beast "Junior".
  • His little "byeeeeeee" as he flies off (after inviting Jon to visit when he's feeling "less murdery").
  • Helen has her share this episode too, first with the reveal she's been treating Jon and Martin's murder-adventures as post-apocalypse reality tv (one gets the impression she's watching with a big bowl of bizarro popcorn), then with her attempt to convince Jon that he should kill Simon because it's fun.

  Martin: You're not helping!

  Helen: [cheerily] I'm not trying to!

• In Episode 175's statement, Jon (and thus, by extension, possibly the Eye or the Extinction themselves) spends nearly three minutes of his statement ranting furiously at an old umbrella.

  "Stupid umbrella."

  • The nature of this domain has finally brought with it something to sit down on, and Martin, being worn out, takes the opportunity, stubbornly defending his decision right up until he sits. Given what the Extinction's accommodations are, it's very clear it's disgusting and he'd rather have just remained standing, but he won't admit it.
• In Episode 176 Jon and Martin are reunited with Basira. Jon takes all of a second to fall back into his deadpan sarcasm dynamic with her.

  Basira: [holding them at gunpoint] Prove you're real.

  Martin: What? You mean like... pinch you or...?

  Basira: Prove you're really Martin Blackwood.

  Martin: How?!

  Jon: [dryly] You could do a poem.

  • How does Jon finally convince Basira that he's the real Jon? By demonstrating that he's still a "know-it-all prick".

  Basira: If you were monsters, that would mean I’d finally get to kill something with your smug face. No way am I that lucky.

• In Episode 180, the duo are walking through a Necropolis, and decide to play a game of I Spy. Martin sees something beginning with a T (A Tomb!), which Jon guesses, and takes great offense at the implication he cheated. His turn? "I spy, with my little eye... LITERALLY EVERYTHING".

  MARTIN LAUGHS

  THE ARCHIVIST LAUGHS

  A NEARBY TOMB LAUGHS

• In Episode 181, Jon tries to use his Compelling Voice power to get Mikaele Salesa to tell them how he got to have the sanctuary he lives in... and he responds with a pointed "No", informing Jon that the house is in a blind spot for the Beholding and he doesn't have his powers there. Mikaele is greatly amused by the befuddled look on Jon's face, and Martin gets a good laugh out of it too, saying it looks like he just failed an exam.
  • Also, the deliberately stilted way Mikaele repeats Jon's full job title of "Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London".
• The tour of the hospital in episode 182 is oddly humorous, with Jane Doe's persistent upbeat mannerisms (and her odd, disconnected speech) and Martin quietly freaking out the whole time.

  Jane: We have a canteen!

  Jon: [quietly, to Martin] Don't ask about the canteen.

  Martin: [angrily] I wasn't going to ask about the canteen!

• Episode 183 is very darkly funny, particularly when the Doctor and the Professor start bickering.

  The Doctor: You're still working on mineral theory? How painfully outdated.

  • This is then followed by, as the transcript puts it, "[sounds of brutal peer review]" (in other words, the professor beating the doctor to death).
  • Earlier in the episode, Helen blows a raspberry in response to something Jon and Martin say. Just the idea of Helen doing something so juvenile is at least worth a chuckle.
• In Episode 190, Melanie and Martin realize that they never actually got to know each other, what with all the plot going down, and decide to work on that.

  Martin: So, what do you do?

  Melanie: Oh, I'm actually one of the prophets chosen to walk the end times unscathed. Yourself?

  Martin: Oh, I'm the Antichrist's plus-one.

  • After Georgie and Melanie discover that tape recorders are popping up, since Jon is here, we get a montage of a new tape recorder starting up while Georgie is smashing the old one, over and over again, to no avail. The stark image of Spongebob smashing Squidward's alarm clocks comes to mind.
• Annebelle Cane tells Martin that, in her original plan, she was going to fill him with spiders. She keeps talking, but Martin keeps trying to circle back to the spider thing, just to be absolutely certain.
• The interm between Annabelle restraining Martin in webs and Jon and Basira reaching Hill Top Road has its share, mainly because of how annoyed Martin is at the whole situation.

  Annabelle: [smiling] On edge, are we?

  Martin: Of course I am! You’ve stuck me in a weird interdimensional web, and threatened to fill me with spiders!

  Annabelle: No. I said I had “considered” filling you with spiders.

  Martin: Yeah, whatever. The point is there was a time when it was very much your go-to option!

  • Also, at one point, Annabelle reveals she considered starting a kid's TV show. Martin does not quite know what to do with this information.
• Jon, Martin and Basira climbing a ladder to scale a mountain in a domain of the Vast in Episode 198 has some funny moments. When they reach the peak and have to jump off of it to proceed, they start to sound like a group of friends on a road trip gone bad.
  • Jon trying to reassure Martin when he almost falls:

    Jon: Martin, would it help to know that if you do fall, you’ll be okay?
    Martin: Define "okay".
    Jon: I, uh— You wouldn’t die.
    Martin: Yeah, but it would still hurt, wouldn’t it?
    Jon: Uh, yes. But not as much as th-
    Martin: And, crucially, it would still feel like I’m falling an incredible distance. Wouldn’t it?
    Jon: I mean, you would still be falling an incredible distance. You just wouldn’t die when you hit the bottom.
    Martin: Yeah, and there it is.
    Basira: Oh, I have missed your pep-talks.

  • When Jon suddenly finds himself needing to make a statement:

    Basira: You couldn’t have made a statement before we got on the ladder?

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    MAG Fluff 

A collection of short, non-horrific and more comedic scenes from the lives of the Archive team. Originally picked from a writing competition held by Rusty Quill in late 2019.

• In the first episode, "Epiphany", Tim realizes that Martin has a crush because he was gazing dreamily into space and gently stroking the rim of his teacup...during an invasion of the institute by The Corruption.
• The second episode, "Expenses", has Elias go through some of Tim's recent expense reports and calls him to his office to ask about them.
  • The first point of inquiry is for a kebab lunch Tim and Martin had while out on a stakeout, which led to both of them getting food poisoning and needing to take time off from work. Tim starts to get into details, but Elias stops him, saying Martin already gave a... comprehensive account when he filed for leave.
  • "Cronuts. Really..."
• In the third episode, "In the Public Eye", Jon, Martin and Tim talk about the Archives team being forced to take over the Institute's Twitter account for a while. When they discuss branching out to other social media websites, Jon gets particularly put off when Tim informs them that Sasha has already reserved an account name on Instagram because he dreads the idea of having to glam up statements or research:

  Jon: If any of you tell Elias about Instagram or, God forbid, Vine, I will end you. Is that clear?

  • As Jon leaves, Tim tells Martin that he once came across Elias on Goodreads, and that he apparently mostly reads romantic novels (a nod to Ben Meredith's character on Rusty Quill Gaming, who got into romance novels at one point in the story).
• The fifth episode, "Bargain Hunting", has Daisy bring along Martin on a shopping trip to help her find a birthday gift for Basira, having mapped out the shopping center they're in into sections and conducting the search like she's hunting a fugitive.
  • Even funnier if you stop to think about it: finding a good birthday present is so hard for Daisy that it makes her, a servant of The Hunt, the Power whose hallmark is a tendency towards obsessive, relentless pursuits, give up.

    Duskhollow PD 

A playthrough of a tabletop role-playing game created by Jonathan Sims and his spouse, Sasha Sienna, for their games company, McGuffin & Co., recorded and released as episodes of the podcasts between seasons 4 and 5. Sims serves as game master and Sasha (Gabrielle Schraber), Alex J. Newall (Archie Murdock), Frank Voss (Sgt. Carl Husselbeck) and Lowri Ann Davies (Emma Walensky) as players. Their characters are detectives in the perpetually rainy, dreary town of Duskhollow who investigate a murder.

• Part 1:
  • While first visiting the crime scene, Archie slips and falls into the victim's blood and spends the rest of the story covered in blood.
• Part 2:
  • Alex describing Archie as Martin's American cousin.
  • When Emma sprinkles salt on Archie, the latter licks it up. Because it's bad for the blood pressure, Jonathan deducts a hit point from him.
• Part 3:
  • Archie escaping from being tied to a railway... by setting himself on fire.

    Mothership 

A playthrough of Mothership RPG, a Sci-Fi Horror tabletop role-playing game, released as episodes in 2021 after the conclusion of the series. Ben Meredith serves as the game master, with Jonathan Sims (engineer Carter Block), Lydia Nicholas (android 0170701) and Alex J. Newall (scientist Dr. Alabaster Artichoke) as players.

• Part 1:
  • Jonathan's character's randomly selected patch becomes... an all-seeing eye. Lydia has a field day with this bit of serendipity.
  • Alex's character's patch simply reads "GOOD BOY"; he decides not to come up with a backstory or rationale for it because it's funnier that way.
  • Lydia's exasperated reaction to Alex's choice of character name:

    "God, Alex. Why are you Alex?"

• Part 2:
  • Ben describes how another spaceship winds up "munged" together with the player characters' ship, briefly causing the other players to break up laughing due to the informal language. Later, Alex has his character describe the situation as a a Multiverse Unification Non-causal Generic Event... or, for short, a M.U.N.G.E.

    Meta 

• The list of Season 2 episodes
  
  Jonny Sims released as a teaser.
• From the Season 3 Q&A: the stage directions for Spiral episodes are often just "everything goes wrong".
  • The Season 4 Q&A adds "it's all a bit much".
• In one Q&A, Jonny talks about how the podcast has to judge when to use profanity very carefully in order not to get blacklisted by the US market and describes how, half a minute into recording Episode 14, Piecemeal, Alex had to stop him and explain that Lee Rentoul (a hardened gangster) was swearing far too much, and it would get the podcast labelled as 'explicit' on iTunes.

  Jonny: And I said 'What about all the gore and the grotesque body horror?' And Alex said 'That’ll be fine.' And I said 'What about the, the sexual stuff? I mean we’ve already recorded episode six and that was some pretty horrific sexual horror!' and he said 'That’ll be fine.' And I said 'Is it literally just the swearing?' And Alex said 'YES'.'

• In the Season 4 Q&A, Alex points out to Jonny that Gertrude's body had had three gunshot wounds in it, but the recording of her death only had one shot going off. Jonny immediately begins to detail Gertrude's canon off-screen death, which involves a machete, evil cackling, and Elias screaming like a little girl.

  Jonny: Y– so basically what happened in canon and this is the one time I will, one hundred percent, this is Word of God, after the tape stopped, turned out Gertrude was too much a badass to die from just a single gunshot, she lunges at Elias! Elias screams, uh, like, uh, like a scared child and fires wildy, three times, misses, Gertrude gets a machete from under the desk![...] Cackling. Lunges at him but, ah, two more shots in the chest and Gertrude… finally goes down.

• The blooper reel contains several gems.
  • Breekon and Hope buying moisturizer, and picking up some Head and Shoulders because "that's what I found on the road the other day".
  • The cast insisting that Jonny drags the rest of them down, ruining their wholesome show with his horror stuff.
  • Finally we get to hear Mrs Sims cackle. It is a glorious as she promised.
• After Season 4, RQGG19 had a segment with Ben Meredith saying all sorts of things in Elias's voice on viewer request. Most of them are glorious
  
  .

  Elias: Yes Jon, behind this desk I am wearing heelies. But no one will ever believe you.

  Elias: Jon, I'm trying to pipe murder Jurgen Leitner, but I'm dummy thicc, and the clap from my ass keeps alerting the police.

  Elias: Peter, you've embarrassed me at the Institute holiday party for the last time. I want. Another. Divorce. note Ben: That's from Lonely At Sea. He will be.

  Elias: There is no. Such. Thing. As a good cow.

  Elias: You know, like "nya"?

  Elias: Pathfinder is a far superior game system to Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, and I am much happier playing it.note Ben: But as we know, Elias is a villain!

  Elias: Jon, if you don't watch The Boss Baby, I'll fire you.

  Elias: My soul is committing tax fraud constantly.

  Elias: Peter, you are insufferable. I want. Another. Divorce.

  Elias: For the last time, Peter, you cannot play Minecraft on my computer, I don't care how alone it makes you feel.

  Elias: Oh no, I hope no Avatars kidnap my Archivist, Jon, who works in an isolated, unmonitored area in the Magnus Institute, London.

  Elias: Tim, I don't understand this. It just says "Okay, Boomer"?

  Elias: I would absolutely start a tooth cult.

  Elias: I have a hand neck deep in a reactor core.

  Elias: Jon, it pains me to say this, but please come to my office as I require assistance. I am too stoned to move.

  How could I sound anything silly I'm made of plastic?

  Nikola: How could I sound anything, silly? I'm plastic. [raps her head, with a plastic sound] I don't even have a voicebox!

  Where can I watch the Magnus archives?

  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  What is the plot of the Magnus archives?

  New head archivist Jonathan Sims attempts to organize and record a collection of seemingly unconnected statements of mysteries, supernatural and the occult, converting them to audio and supplementing them with follow-up work from his dedicated archival team.