How do you know if she is pulling away?

It’s not a fun feeling when you notice that your partner is pulling away from you. It’s especially difficult when you aren’t sure why. Every relationship is different, and there will be ups and downs no matter how healthy the relationship is, but that doesn’t mean your stomach won’t drop when things get tough. The only logical step is to try to figure out why they are pulling away. You should ask your partner directly and have an honest talk about both of your feelings. It will be an emotional conversation, most likely, and it will take some effort. But if you don’t talk about how you’re feeling and give your partner a chance to explain, all you will be left with is a guess. The reasons women pull away vary, and you won’t know for sure until you talk.

There are many reasons women pull away. It could have everything to do with them, or about your relationship, or their feelings for you. It’s hard not to know which, especially if you are willing to change to keep them in your life. Take a look at some of these reasons women pull away and use them as a starting point to talk with your partner. Because you can speculate all you want, but you won’t know the truth until you ask.

Fear Of Intimacy

Reasons women pull away include having fears of intimacy. If you’ve been getting pretty close lately only to have them pull away, this might seem like a possibility to you. Things like childhood trauma, previous relationships, and inner demons can make it hard for some people to open up and let another person into their life, especially if they have not worked through these problems with an online therapist. These are all potential reasons women pull away. They might be fine at the beginning of a relationship when you’re still getting to know each other and learning the surface level things you tend to ask about, but once all of the small talks is gone, and the relationship feels solid, that’s when real work begins. If your partner fears intimacy in some way, they may not want to dig deeper with you. When women pull away they can keep things at surface level and not have to open up their heart too much. When you talk with your partner, let them know that they can trust you with their feelings. Words might not mean much at first, but you can earn their trust by showing up again and again.

Relationship Anxiety

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Pulling away could also be a sign of relationship anxieties. When starting a new relationship it’s hard for these people to open up and commit to another person. You might interpret this as them pulling away since they don’t initiate a deeper commitment with you. But it really could be that they have some apprehension about being in a relationship in the first place. They may search for reasons to distrust you or the relationship. This has nothing to do with you, and so you will need to listen to them and help them however you can.

Relationship anxiety can manifest in overthinking things about the relationship, which can be hard for you as well as your partner. When one person overthinks, it can make the other feel as if they aren’t trusted or wanted. You will do yourself a huge favor by accepting that relationship anxiety is about fear and what-ifs, which don’t have anything to do with your true character or how they feel about you. Talking out both of your fears will help you feel closer together as a couple. While relationship anxieties can be reasons women pull away, it is possible to soothe these anxieties to build a stronger bond.

You’re Too Clingy

There are some things that you can do, though, that might push your partner away. One of these is being a clingy partner. If you tend to overwhelm them with communication or hate when they spend time with anyone that isn’t you, it shouldn’t be a surprise that your partner might slowly pull away from you. No one likes to feel like they are being controlled in any way. And though clinginess might come from a place of anxiety or basic need, it comes across as controlling and overwhelming.

These are reasons women pull away that you could find yourself without talking to your partner, if you did some self-reflection. But to do so you would need to confront some needs that might be pushing your partner away, which isn’t something that you will want to do subconsciously. You may be fighting against an inkling that tells you your clinginess is contributing to the problem. It’s hard to come to terms with the role we play in difficult situations. But the sooner we realize what we need to do, the sooner we can implement steps to make things better.

You’re Not Taking The Relationship Seriously

Your partner could be pulling away if they think you aren’t taking the relationship seriously. Have you been fighting a lot recently? Do you make time for your partner? Relationships take work and sacrifice, and if you aren’t holding up your end of the deal then it’s possible that your partner feels like you pulled away from them.

So, their response is to pull away from you in return. The only real way to know if that’s the case is actually to talk with your partner. If you haven’t had a lot of time for them lately, maybe you’ve been busy with important things. Maybe they’re misinterpreting your actions as a sign of your lack of commitment. Or maybe they are spot on with their assumptions. Either way, the only response for you is to communicate clearly. Even if the right course of action is to break up after the talk, you are better off having that conversation now instead of dragging things out.

She’s Thinking About Ending The Relationship

When women pull away, you have to admit to the possibility that they are thinking of ending the relationship. Whether it’s because of the reasons above or for something else, there may come a time where you have to respect their decision. Ending a relationship is hard and can be emotionally devastating for both you and your partner. Sometimes it’s the right thing to do, though. If your partner is pulling away, they may be trying to make it easier for when things end. If you see each other less and less, it might make more sense when you two finally end things.

What To Do When She Pulls Away

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Ultimately, you have to listen to whatever it is that your partner tells you when you talk to them about why they are pulling away. Maybe there are things you can do to strengthen your relationship. But maybe things are meant to end. Either way, you should respect your partner’s thoughts and feelings. By having an open and honest talk about what is going on, you can finally understand how your partner is feeling and why there has been a distance between you guys. In the meantime, allow them to have their space. Put more effort into the time you spend together. Remind your partner why it is that you are together. Those are the things that you can control and show focus on.

Relationships take work and commitment to thrive. Maybe that’s why we see a red flag go up when one partner starts to pull away. We don’t want to see a relationship end when we worked so hard to get to where we are. But space doesn’t always mean the relationship will end. When women pull away, it may just be a time in their life that they need space to navigate, or maybe you need to communicate to get yourselves back on good terms. Knowing that there is something you need to communicate on is the first step. What happens next will be up to the two of you to decide.

Because relationships take work, and sometimes it’s hard to communicate even with the best of intentions, couples’ therapy is a great tool to have in your arsenal. A licensed therapist can uncover the reasons men and women pull away in relationships. At ReGain, couples and singles from all over can talk with a therapist online to work through their questions, their circumstances, and their needs. ReGain is an online platform that matches therapists and couples together for a therapy that is right for them. It’s completely online and very secure, using a chat room to message your therapist in your own time without having to feel awkward or insecure because you worry about being judged. Your messages aren’t read in real-time, so you do have the entire day to think about what you need to say.

The chatrooms are available for you and your partner to view together, but you can also sign up just yourself and add them in later when you feel more comfortable. In fact, you don’t even have to add them at all if you don’t want to. The therapy is there for you in whatever capacity you need it.

If you are interested in ReGain, go to www.regain.us/start today to get more information and to fill out a survey that will assess your needs.

If your partner is pulling away, take a deep breath. You will be able to find out the reason, and then you’ll see it’s not the end of the world. Whatever happens, you can get through it. You have help.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What do you do when women pull away?

As stated in the article above, the most crucial thing to do when you notice women pulling away is to find out why they're doing it. Reasons women pull away vary, so it's important to talk. If a girl starts to pull away, you don't need to push her to open up immediately, but it's helpful to open up a non-accusatory dialogue so that she will feel comfortable enough to tell you what's going on when she's ready. It could be that she is going through a hard time, such as a battle with mental health, stress from work, or the loss of a family member or friend. Other common reasons women become emotionally distant in relationships have to do with how quickly the relationship is evolving. Perhaps the relationship is moving too fast for her, and she's unsure as to how to express it.

Other reasons women pull away could include losing interest in the relationship. Since the reasons women pull away can vary so substantially, communication is the only unfailing way to find out what is going on. The way you approach a partner pulling away will vary depending on a number of factors, such as how long you've been together, if there have been problems in the relationship recently, and so on. If there have been problems in your relationship recently, the same issues may be the cause of a partner pulling away. All couples struggle from time to time. You must face relationship problems head-on instead of ignoring or avoiding them so that they don't impact the connection, so make sure that nothing is going unresolved under the surface.

How do you know if a girl is pulling away?

As mentioned earlier, reasons women pull away vary, but there are some signs that may indicate she's pulling away. If someone you're dating is pulling away from you, they may seem detached in a number of ways. Often, emotional detachment is what you will notice the most when a partner is pulling away. Perhaps, your displays of affection go unappreciated or get shut down. You'll know that your partner is pulling away if they put in less effort to make plans with you, if they seem emotionally unavailable, or if they don't show the amount of affection they once did, whether that's through kisses, hugs, or words. If it's a relatively new relationship and you notice a partner pulling away after the initial closeness, what could seem like playing hard to get might actually be attributed to a deeper wound, such as fear of commitment or abandonment issues. Remember that there are many reasons women pull away-it is possible that you've done nothing wrong. Instead, she may be experiencing challenges in her own life (such as depression or anxiety).

Why do I pull away in relationships?

If you find that you pull away in relationships habitually, you could have an avoidant attachment style, especially if you crave love and start to create distance when things begin to get serious. Other times, people pull away from others or push someone away in a relationship because things are moving too fast. If things are moving too fast, you might go into panic mode and try to slow things down by pushing the one you love away. If you start feeling the need to pull away from someone you really like, ask yourself why. If you pick up on it when you start feeling the need to pull away and figure out why, you can use your awareness to effectively navigate the situation and make sure that it doesn't sabotage any of your relationships. Instead of pulling away when you're into someone, take things slow, and communicate the need to do so. The right person will understand, and refraining from moving too fast can be beneficial. Over time, the trust will build, and you will be able to work through your anxieties. Additionally, be proud of yourself for having the self-awareness to notice when you start to pull away. This will help you work through it, and self-awareness is a beneficial trait to have in general. If you struggle with concerns related to attachment, avoidance, intimacy, or relationships in general, don't be afraid to reach out to a mental health professional.

How do you not freak out when he pulls away?

It's hard to notice your partner pulling away, but don't freak out. If you lash out on him or speculate, he will likely pull away more. The best way to cope with the situation without freaking out is to give him space and have an open conversation. To have an open dialogue, you can say, "you seem a little bit distant, is everything alright?" or even just, "are you okay?" Using open-ended questions to start a conversation when you see your partner pulling away is the best bet because it allows them to explain what's going on without any assumptions getting in the way. You don't want to accuse them of losing interest right off the bat, just in case it's attributed to something else.

Do guys pull away when they catch feelings?

Some people pull away when they catch feelings. The reasons women pull away are often similar to the reasons men pull away in relationships. If a man or woman pulls away when they catch feelings habitually and without any other reason, it's likely that they're experiencing avoidant attachment. The best way to cope with this is to avoid going into panic mode when you notice a partner pulling away; even if you don't feel calm inside, approach them calmly. Sometimes, women pull away and need space due to their own thoughts, feelings, and past experiences. If you go into panic mode, it may lead them to distance more, so give the person some time and let them know that it's okay for them to be independent or in need of space. This can make a person with an avoidant attachment style feel more secure because they'll know that they can have their time and space when they need it. Of course, if someone pulls away continuously, it's time to talk about it. Once you talk about it, you might choose to take things very slowly or to part ways, depending on the outcome of the conversation. Make sure that the partnership is healthy for both of you. If you're anxious and he's avoidant or vice versa, you may find yourself in a connection with a lot of push and pull. It's important that your partnerships are healthy for you, that open communication is present in your love connections, and that you reach out for support when you need it.

How do you tell if a man is pushing you away?

When a man or woman pulls away, they'll create distance by texting or calling less often, avoiding making plans, or decreasing the amount of affection they show. If someone actively pushes you away, they may even get snippy with you for no reason. If someone expresses that they want distance, it's vital to respect it. Regardless of why someone's pushing you away, if they're unwilling to work through it even after a substantial period of time, it may be time to let it go, particularly if things are getting hostile in any regard. Another thing someone might do is get into a cycle of getting close and pulling away cyclically. Push and pull can hurt a lot; it's just as painful, if not more painful, then just getting pushed away because it's confusing when someone pulls you close and then pushes you away.

Why do guys push you away when they love you?

If a partner is pulling away, it's easy to fall into worrying that something caused them to lose interest. While losing interest or growing apart are reasons women and men pull away, it's likely not what's going on if they also express that they love you. If someone loves you but pushes you away, they may fear intimacy or commitment. This can stem from a variety of things, such as pain from past relationships or issues that took place in childhood. When a partner is pulling away, it could be that they fear to get close to others because of fear of abandonment and the belief that they're only safe from abandonment if they don't allow others to get close. Living with attachment or intimacy-related wounding is difficult, but it is common, and it doesn't have to be a dead-end. It's possible to become more securely attached and to work through these wounds. Emotional health problems or life stressors are another reason that someone might push someone they love away. Some people shut down when they experience negative emotions because they don't want to be so vulnerable around people they love. If your partner continuously pushes you away, it's something to address.

Why do I push away someone I love?

A variety of things can cause a person to push away someone they love. Again, there are many reasons women and men pull  away, but one thing that can cause this to happen is an avoidant attachment style. If the tendency to push someone away once they start getting close is a recurring theme in your life, attachment is a concept to look into. As with anything, an individual has to be self-aware enough to notice their behavior and emotions, want to work on their struggle with attachment, and navigate their relationships in a way where they can talk about the way they operate, what they need, and what they're doing to navigate partnerships healthily with their attachment style in mind.

Other reasons women and men pull away is that something's wrong in the relationship, or that you're going through issues of your own that make it challenging to be close to someone at the moment. For example, if you're going through a tough time or a period of depression, you might be experiencing symptoms like fatigue or emotional numbness that impact the relationship. Other reasons women and men pull away include misunderstandings in the relationship. More reasons women and pull away include the inabilities to communicate with one another in a healthy and efficient way. Remember that no one is perfect in relationships; not even a relationship expert. If you're pushing someone away or your partner is pulling away from you, couples counseling can help. Whether you see a mental health provider online through a website like ReGain or go to someone in your local area, you can find out what's causing you to push the ones you love away and work toward maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships.

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