How to tell if youre being set up by police

by Norma Jean Almodovar

Here are the top ten instant alert signals that you should be listening for in any conversations you have with a new client. Paying attention to them may spare you from getting busted!

1. He asks you to bring him some drugs. Often cops will try to get an added drug charge against you in order to "cinch" an arrest and be able to manipulate you better. DO NOT AGREE TO BRING HIM ANYTHING STRONGER THAN BREATH MINTS! IF YOU WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE, BE SURE THAT THEY NEVER ASK YOU TO TAKE DRUGS TO A CLIENT OR ANYONE ELSE.
2. He asks, "So how long have you been doing this?" PLAY DUMB, ASK HIM, "WHY, WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN?"
3. You hear the smoke alarm go off in the other room (if you are visiting him either at 'home' or in a hotel) It is most likely a bunch of horney cops in the other room smoking as they watch you get undressed on the video monitor. If you do get arrested, insist on getting paid for the strip show.
4. He promises to order drinks but then his pager goes off He is not supposed to drink on duty - although he may. If he doesn't have any beverages to offer you, he has no class anyway. Make him order lots of room service before you ever discuss business! Order the most expensive bottle of champagne, then, wait until it arrives and uncork it. At least get a good meal on the taxpayers before you go to jail and have to eat peanut butter sandwiches!
5. He says, "why don't you hum and clap and do a little dance for me?" Clapping is usually the signal for the other cops to come in and make their arrest. You are not required to be the instrument of your own undoing. If he starts clapping, grab your purse and run!
6. He asks you to get undressed but he won't. If you are being videotaped, he will not undress for you so if he acts shy but he wants to see you get naked, refuse to unless he does first. Don't even touch him until he is completely naked. Ask him to grab himself, do a little dance and hum for you- that will amuse the jury when the tape is played in court if he is a cop. [In some states, the police are allowed to have sex with you first and then arrest you. So, this sign might not work. Also, the police can use a real client as a witness against you - someone who is paid by the government to have sex with you and then testify in court against you ... to protect you from exploitation, you understand!)
7. He counts out the money aloud as he pays you. If he has so little class that he would count out the money rather than just discreetly hand it to you, then something is terribly wrong. It is probably being video taped. Act shocked that he is paying you. Tell him you don't know nuthin' about no stinkin' money. Insist that he stop or you will have to leave because you are not that kind of girl. DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT SEX AND MONEY.
8. He insists upon being explicit about a sex act. . . "do you do it from behind?" or, "I'd like an American specialty.. . " If he is a cop, he wants to get you to agree to a sex act - either straight sex, oral sex or anal sex. He is not supposed to say what he is looking for but must try to get you to say it. Play dumb and ask him, "Why, whatever do you mean?" Of course, with legalized entrapment, he can always revert to suggesting the sex act himself and get you to agree to it. Still, DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT SEX AND MONEY.
9. He asks, "what do I get for my money?" Play dumb as above and ask him what ever does he mean. DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT SEX AND MONEY
10. A stranger calls and tells you that his buddy Joe (whom you don't know) says you are lots of fun and he wants to have some fun, too. Check it out. Tell him to have your mutual friend call you to confirm this. If he says his friend is out of town, tell him you are out of town too, forever. If your mutual friend does call, ask questions about his referral. Ask what his friend does for a living and where he works. Call information and see if such a business is listed. Call the business and ask for him by name. Even though your client could be setting you up, the odds are that the police won't go to all the trouble to set up a dummy company listed in the phone directory.

Norma Jean Almodovar
Executive Director, COYOTE LA/SC