Im in love with my female best friend

I'm confused about what to do about my feelings for my female bestfriend who is straight (atleast, I think she is). I'm straight too (atleast, I thought I was).

My bestfriend and I are sooo close. We talk and/or text everyday. She gets upset when I don't send her goodmorning texts and **** like that. When we argue and make up, I swear its like a boyfriend and girlfriend. She gets jealous of my boyfriends, she says she feels like they are taking her spot. She tries to discourage my relationships alot of the time. We hug and kiss eachother on the cheek like all the time. She always smiles after I kiss her. One of the guys she's dated before told me that she said something super gay and then he said "I wouldn't be surprised if I caught you two naked in bed together". I'm sitting there like "What did she say?" And as he was about to say it, she cuts him of and says, "Shut up, I told you not to repeat that". She loves for me to run my fingers through her hair, she says no one does it like I do. A couple of days ago, we sat for like 20 mins cuddled up with me sitting on her lap and my head on her shoulder just talking. She was holding me. She rubbed her hand across my lower back and I jumped and said "Stop it.." in a flirty voice..indicating that it was a "sensitive spot" that made me sort of turned on. Every couple of seconds, she rubbed that spot again to keep getting the same reaction out of me. I liked it, I only said stop so that she wouldn't realize how much I wanted her to continue and do more.

I know that I'm nuts about her because I keep battling this feeling about her. I'm in love with her. It took me a while to admit it to myself and even longer to admit it to her. A WHILE ago, I admitted that I was in love with her. When I admitted it, I told her I didn't want to be friends with her anymore because I didn't want to be gay and she was the only girl I felt like this about.. so if I stopped being friends with her, I would be able to get over it in time and I wouldn't have to label myself as gay. She got upset at me because I wanted to end the friendship. I didn't really give her a chance to tell me if she felt the same or not, but I have a feeling that even if she does feel the same, she's afraid to admit it just like I was. Thats sort of why I immediately jumped to end the friendship, I was afraid she'd want to after that. She did say that just because I felt that way doesn't make me gay. She stated and I quote: "I have gay moments about you too, I even had a gay dream before LOL" (We were texting at this point) She was pleading her case to basically keep me as her bestfriend. She said she didn't want to lose me and she was actually angry with me for attempting to give up on our friendship. I ended up telling her that I think I was just going through a weird phase and I don't feel that way anymore. I said that because I honestly thought I could get over it. I distanced my self just a little for a while. She noticed and would get **** off at me about it but I didn't tell her why I did. I just recently started hanging with her everyother day like I used to and I feel like I have relapsed on my addiction of her. I don't know what to do. I don't know if she feels the same. I just don't know at all.

There is a possibility that im misreading her and she is straight. We have done plenty of double dates and we talk about guys to eachother. She seems to really like some of her guys sometimes. She does always compare her guys to me, though. She was excited that one of her guys acted similarly to me. She's single right now, but I have a boyfriend. I think I love my boyfriend, but I feel like I'm not "head over heels" for him like I could be because I love her so much. I find myself wanting to be around her more than him, feeling more of a rush from her touch than his, having more and more of a desire to do things with and to her and I have no idea if she has that same urge.. I'm so confused.

What should I do?

#2

Marissa

9 years ago

I think the most concise answer I have for you is this:
Is it worth it to avoid giving yourself a "label" and potentially losing the love of your life? Or would you rather be with the love of your life and acknowledge that you are bisexual? Bisexuality doesn't mean you're attracted to both sexes equally, it means that you have had romantic feelings towards both women (or a woman) and men (or a man). Hope this helps.

#3

LostinLove

8 years ago

Wow... It feels like you have just written a book of my life... I have about the same problem, but my friend is divorced with two kids... We have "moments" where we look at eachother funny and we spend almost all our time together.... She freaked out when I told her that I have feelings for her, almost ended our friendship, but now we are best friends again...

Still, it doesn't stop me from falling in love with her over and over, yearning to be with her, always wondering what she is thinking and feeling.... Many people have told me that she seems to be into me, but she is very religious and hurt from her divorce....

Wish I could just hold her and love her like she should be loved....😖

#4

Rosie

8 years ago

Being totally honest: You two sound like you were made for each other. Love is so hard to figure out when you're the one right in the middle of it, but from my non-biased, open perspective, she sounds like she loves you the same way you love her. If she didn't, she'd have freaked out when you two cuddled and stuff, and she definitely wouldn't have told you that she's been having gay dreams about you if she didn't like you. She definitely sounds like she wants something more with you. Of course, what you do is completely up to how comfortable you are with it, and how much you would do/how far you'd go for her. But if you're willing to go against what some people wouldn't understand, and you really do love her, go for it! Don't watch the love of your life disappear. You deserve that happily ever after, who cares what other people might think. It's not their life, and it's not their happy ending. I'm in the same position with my best friend, except she's totally straight, and would never feel the same way as I do. I thought I was straight too, and basically still consider myself straight, it's just that......well, she's my only exception 😊 I envy you, I wish she loved me back the way your girl loves you. It's obvious, so go do what I can't, you'll know what's right. Good luck xx ^_^ and enjoy that happily ever after, however it turns out

Those may interest you:

#5

FML

8 years ago

STORY OF MY ***** LIFE. It ***** and it hurts more than anything because you continually develop these deep feelings but it impossible not to feel hurt because there is so much shame around being gay so you never know what the other person is really wanting. FML. It's like one day we are in love with each other and cuddling and holding hands and the next she ignores me. WHY THEY GAMES AND MIXED SIGNALS? And it is really horrible for me because I lost my virginity through rape this year and now I am so traumatized that impossible for me to feel safe being in any sort of romantic relationship with a guy. And when I am with her I just feel safe and loved, it is like walking on air. But then when she ignores me I stupid and annoying and unwanted. UGHHH DDDD: I want to cryyyy. DDDDDDD:

#6

Hmmmm

8 years ago

Don't push it, is all I can say. Enjoy your time with her and be there for her and everything and it'll work itself out. She's processing things probably and weighing the pros and cons of changing your relationship. I went through the same thing, I remained super patient and supportive throughout our friendship, while giving hints of my feelings here and there. I've been seeing my friend now for only about a month...but maaan, has it been worth the wait. (she's very straight and I'm bi). Chemistry can't be denied...let her figure it out

#7

Lost in Love

8 years ago

Hi all

I am so glad that somebody understands how I feel!! I read your stories and I see my life... Been in love with my best friend for two years now... We have been friends for much longer than that... Anyway, about three months into my feelings for her I told her that I liked her. She flipped out!! We didn't speak for about a week... Eventually she said that we can still be friends, but nothing can ever happen between us. 😭 I was sad, but the friendship meant more to me than a physical relationship... She has been divorced for many years now and I am like a second mom to her kids. We spend almost every day together, I help her around the house, help with shopping etc. (wow... this story goes on forever!!! )😄 Things have been very tense between us lately, we argue, it's like everything is upside down... So I decided to go and see somebody who is very intuitive. I do not really believe in these things, but I had to do something to save myself from going mad!! I can feel the attraction between my friend and I, I can see the looks she gives me... But it has been two years... I am being so patient because I care... well, I love her actually. Everything about her.

Anyway, let me get to the point!! This lady told me that it hasn't happened, I must move on. This friend of mine is straight and likes men, I will never be right for her. It broke me, my heart shattered into pieces... Now I have to look at her with different eyes and keep telling myself that we will not be together... It hurts.. nobody seems to understand, everybody says move on, but it hurts so bad...

Any words of wisdom for this lost heart please? I just need somebody who understands... ☹️

Would love to just chat to people who is in the same situation... I feel so alone and as if nobody cares. 🙁

#8

no mame

8 years ago

i fel kind of same but the girl i love acts different

#9

Matt

8 years ago

Hi, I have been in a similar situation but I am a guy and my bestfriend is a man too. I didn't find the strenght to tell him though. I'm not completely over him, meaning I still am jealous of his girlfriend and wish he gave me the attention he gives her. But I am happy I didn't tell him because I know he is happy with her and I care about his happiness more than anything else in the world. Moreover telling him would change nothing because I don't want a romantic relationship with him and I don't want to have sex with him ( I probably wouldn't mind it, but it's not like I want it) I am not gay. I just wish there were just the two of us in the world. It's platonic love.

I think you should go for it. You two sound like soulmates.

#10

8 years ago

Hey, So you are a girl and she is a girl, correct?

Do you know she doesn't like you? Most girls are Bi...

#11

Lost in Love

8 years ago

So she has no feelings for you? Or is she just trying not to think about it?

#12

Lost in Love

8 years ago

Hey Aaronisreal... I suppose... but some girls will not venture into the "unknown". I remember when I told her that I had feelings for her, wow, she said it can't and will never happen...

A couple of months ago, things however became quite interesting. The physical attraction, the looks, the insinuations... I thought that I eventually had a breakthrough and that she was willing to give me a chance! 😁

But alas, all of a sudden we started arguing and things are now so tense between us, not in a good way that is... I think I had my opportunity and I blew it because I am too much of a wuss to say to her "Hey, I really like you!"

I am still battling every day, just can't seem to move on. Usually if I realise somebody is not into me, I just move on, but with this one it is different. I think I am hopelessly in love... 😊

#13

Lost in Love

8 years ago

BTW... I am referring to Anonymous who started this post - if you are out there Anonymous, what has happened in the meantime?

I hope you girls found eachother.. or love.. I really do!

Those may interest you:

#14

8 years ago

Lost in love, i understand but some girls do venture into the unknown for the "thrill seeking pleasure".

#15

Lost in Love

8 years ago

Hehe... well let's hope that she ventures right into my arms!! 😄

#16

8 years ago

aaronisreal wrote:

Most girls are Bi...

...in the dreams of heterosexual guys everywhere.

#17

8 years ago

banshee wrote:

aaronisreal wrote:

Most girls are Bi...

...in the dreams of heterosexual guys everywhere.

Lol yeah i suppose. xD

#18

8 years ago

#19

Jade

8 years ago

Don't worry I have the same issue with my best friend. And I also have a boyfriend today I almost dumped him because I though I was in love with her. Love is a very strong thing and if she really likes you and you give her time she'll come around. Good Luck xx

#20

Jade

8 years ago

have you ever tried kissing her out of the blue?😉

#21

LostInLove

8 years ago

Wish I had kissed her when I picked up on the vibes between us... but now I am not too sure whether she still looks at me in that way 🙁

I don't know what to do... too much of a wuss to just kiss her... maybe one day I will find the courage hey 😉

#22

Jade

8 years ago

Does she ever look at your lips when you talking to her. Mine does but we have only just become so close that I don't wanna lose her, I will soon tho. Besides I only want to be friends with benefits with her. Do you want a relationship or friends with benefits? 😋

#23

LostInLove

8 years ago

Yeah she does, not as much as before because we have been arguing over stupid little things. But a couple of months ago we could not have a conversation without her glancing at my lips...

I really want her as more than a friend, and the benefits will be a major plus lol 😁

So you not wanting a relationship with your girl friend? If the boyfriend makes you happy and you love him then I suppose thats great!! 👍

Sometimes people want more than just the physical... and that is where it can get tricky... but I do hope that you end up with the right one that makes you happy 😊

#24

Jade

8 years ago

I've been put in a situation where Ive already had sex at a very young age when I was in my early teens. Now I'm just 18😖

All I want with my bestie is just to kiss and ****, like today I fell asleep on her shoulder and before I went to sleep tho she kissed my forehead. Love is a difficult thing.

Arguing with your bestie is the best way to kiss her. Or say something really sweet like hug her from behind and say you make me happy 💓

#25

LostInLove

8 years ago

Sounds like you have a lot of life experience hey.. 👍

You are giving me ideas... and if I can pluck up the courage I am definitely going to try!!

It seems like your bestie loves you alot, and maybe she also wants to kiss and you know what... hee hee... girls / women are much more intricate than what meets the eye!

Go with the flow I suppose, and who knows, you could just end up having the best time of your life!!

👍 😎

#26

Jade

8 years ago

haha yeah. 😄

Kissing someone doesn't really mean anything just think of it as your a crazy high schooler and your just hooking up with someone don't let your emotions get in the way cause if they do you may not like the out come cause she might not want a relationship just to make out and **** so after you kiss her ask her what she wants and if its not what you want tell her how you feel just don't start crying a lot cause it may be a bit over welming for her🤔 🤔

#27

LostInLove

8 years ago

lol... cool! I will try to keep my emotions in tact and not cry... 👍

Hopefully I will have some good news on this site soon!! Thanks Jade 😎

#28

Jade

8 years ago

#29

Helper

8 years ago

I am at a state where I might love my BFF too, she doesn't even live in the same state as me anymore but I keep thinking about the awkward moments we have when we do stuff like play twister and she has a beaming glow about her and when we are doing something like walking and she moves closer to me than she used to. I think you need to take the chance that I didn't take because I regret it now, and I won't get the chance to be with her again.

#30

8 years ago

@helper,

maybe it isn't too late. if she isn't involve with anyone, maybe u can to long distance relationship to see if that could work.

What do you do when you're in love with your girl best friend?

Is it okay to fall in love with your girl best friend?

How do I stop falling in love with my female best friend?

How do you know if your female best friend loves you?