Should your spouse be your first priority?

Q: Should you prioritize your partner over your family?

However, its actually healthier to make your spouse the first priority. This is because it benefits all of your family members. If you have an emotionally solid marriage with a good foundation, your children will feel happier, more stable and more secure, Thomas says.

Navigating your priorities becomes more complicated as you enter different stages of your life. That’s why it’s so important to learn how to make your spouse a priority.

When you’re dating, you are trying to balance your spouse and spending time with friends. As newlyweds, you may struggle on whether to give your attention to your spouse or your parents. If you have children, your priorities shift once again.

But what if your partner feels they’ve been lost in the shuffle? Should your spouse be your priority? What does it mean to put your spouse first?

What does making your partner a priority mean?

By definition, a priority is something that takes importance in your life. When you make your spouse a priority, it means you are putting your partner first in a relationship.

Does a prioritized marriage mean that you have to take a backseat to the wants and needs of your spouse? Not exactly.

It means that you are making room for your partner’s needs and desires right alongside your own. After all, as a married couple, you are a team, and teams work together.

Who should come first: Your parents or your spouse?

If you are close with your parents, you have probably spent your life asking them for advice and coming to them with your questions and problems.

It’s great to be close with your parents, and they’ve known you a lot longer than your spouse has, so you may be wondering: should your spouse be your priority over your parents?

Yes. You made a vow to your spouse to honor and cherish them. This means you should show them the respect they deserve by valuing their privacy and opinions. This is why your spouse should come first.

Furthermore, you don’t live with your parents. You live with your partner, so it’s important to create marital priorities in a healthy relationship.

15 Ways to make your spouse a priority

You have promised to stand by your partner, and now you are looking for ways to make him feel special, don’t lose heart. Here are some ways that can help you make your spouse a priority.

1. Express gratitude to your spouse

If you are just learning how to prioritize your spouse, feel free to start small.

You can make your spouse a priority by going out of your way to express gratitude to them, as research shows that married partners who express gratitude regularly had:

Greater relationship satisfaction
Higher levels of intimacy
Support for goal pursuits, and
Greater relationship investment and commitment

Then couples who didn’t express their appreciation to one another.

Watch this inspiring video of Managing Director at the Ronald McDonald house Maastricht, Margo de Kock, to understand how gratitude can make a huge difference in your life.

2. Remember the meaning of partnership

Putting your partner first in a relationship isn’t always easy. After all, you likely have other things going on in your life, such as friends, family, and maybe even children.

You can learn how to show your wife she is a priority by remembering she isn’t just your lover; she is your partner.

A partner is someone who is working WITH you. It’s a cooperative effort between two people who want to achieve a goal – in this case: having a successful marriage.

If you’re not working with your spouse, it probably means you’re working against them, even if you don’t mean to.

3. Notice your partner

Another way you can make your wife a priority is to notice the little things about her.

This seems small, but when you prioritize someone, you show them that their concerns are important to you.

When you notice what’s going on in your spouse’s life, you make their happiness and goals a shared experience.

Related Reading: How to Get Your Husband to Notice You – 15 Ways to Get His Attention

4. Take their side

You can make your spouse a priority by taking their side when they are in a conflict outside of the marriage.

Loyalty is essential to a loving, lasting marriage. Even if you don’t necessarily agree with your spouse on a matter, support them and strive to understand their feelings.

Sticking by your spouse shows that you are putting your partner first in a relationship no matter what.

5. Imagine your future

When trying to figure out why your spouse should come first, ask yourself what you want your future to look like.

Your partner IS your future. When you’re old and grey, it won’t be your kids, parents, or hobbies that will be cuddling up to you at night. These are not the things you are sharing an intimate life with.

So instead of getting distracted, work on putting your partner first and solidify your future as a couple.

6. Send them text messages

What does it mean to put your spouse first? It means making them feel special.

One tip for how to prioritize your spouse is to text them. And we don’t mean the ole “Sending you three smiley faces because I can’t think of anything better to say” texts.

We mean authentic texts.

Make your wife a priority by letting her know you think about her throughout the day. Ask her how she’s doing. Tell her you can’t wait to see her when you get home. Make her feel loved.

Related Reading: Texting in relationships: Texting Types, Affects & Mistakes to avoid

7. Find a balance

One of the most significant ways to prioritize your spouse is to figure out your work/life balance.

Naturally, work will require your attention, but your work distractions should stop the moment you walk through the front door (or out of your home office.)

Putting your partner first in a relationship can be accomplished if you find a balance that makes sense for your family.

Related Reading: 10 Amazing Tips for Balancing Marriage and Family Life

8. Ask their opinion before you make plans

Should you always put your spouse first? Not necessarily, but it is good to come to your husband or wife before making plans.

If your friend asks you to go out for the evening, make your wife a priority by asking her first.

Don’t think of it as asking for permission, but rather, being courteous to your partner. Letting her know what you’re thinking of doing for the evening gives her time to make her plans or adjust her schedule accordingly.

Related Reading: 15 Things Every Couple Should Do Together

9. Understand why your spouse should come first

What does it mean to put your spouse first? It means putting them above your hobbies, friends, and other responsibilities.

This may sound harsh. After all, you love your hobbies, friends, and family. But understand that putting your partner first in a relationship doesn’t mean neglecting the other things that are important to you.

Making your spouse a priority means taking the time to show your spouse they are important.

10. Make time for real conversations

One great way to make your spouse a priority is by giving them your time.

Prioritize your wife by arranging regular date nights and keep all the distractions such as phone and television away during that time.

Research shows that doing so can help boost sexual intimacy, improve communication, and bring excitement back into your marriage.

11. Respect them and their decisions

One of your biggest priorities in marriage should be showing respect.

When you respect your partner, you open the door to mutual respect and understanding, uphold healthy boundaries, and work together during the conflict.

12. Make goals together

What does it mean to put your spouse first? It means growing together. Making your partner a priority means coming together and creating goals you can work toward.

These could be:

Having a regular date night
Saving up for a romantic getaway
Starting a new hobby together

Shared goals ensure that you continue to grow together over time and strengthen your partnership.

13. Stay curious about your partner

One way you can make your spouse a priority is by asking questions about them.

The Harvard Gazette reports that staying curious about your spouse is one of the keys to keeping your love alive.

Make your wife a priority and strengthen your marriage by staying curious about her.

14. Ask for their opinion

What does it mean to put your spouse first? It means taking the time to ask for their opinion on important matters.

Both partners should be involved in big changes that affect the marriage, such as moving, taking a new job, or even accepting social plans.

Your priorities in marriage may not be the same as your partner’s, so it’s always good to come together as a couple and discuss big plans before making firm decisions.

This shows love and respect and is one step in the right direction toward putting your partner first in a relationship.

15. Be willing to sacrifice

Sometimes putting your partner first in a relationship means you have to cancel plans or sacrifice your free time to be there for them.

Make your wife a priority by showing her that you will always be there for her, no matter what.

Related Reading: How Important Is Sacrifice in a Relationship?

Conclusion

Putting your partner first in a relationship isn’t always easy, but when you make your spouse a priority, you show them that you love and respect them.

Should you always put your spouse first,/should your spouse be your first priority? If you treasure your marriage, then yes.

Show your partner they are important to you by communicating regularly, making time for real conversations, and looking for little ways to make their day.

Always remember, a prioritized marriage is a happy marriage. Putting your spouse first in a marriage isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it.

Should your partner be your first priority?

Primary romantic relationships, for most partners, should be the primary relationship that is given primary priority. If you feel your partner's competing attachments are threatening the relationship and your security within the relationship: 1.

Who should be a priority in a marriage?

Should your spouse be your first priority? Putting your spouse first is one of the keys to a successful marriage. Your kids will spend about two decades with you and they are out on their own leaving you with your husband.

What do you do if you are not your partner's priority?

Getting his undivided attention The best way to get him to give you his undivided attention (and spend more quality time with you) is to support and respect his other priorities. Giving him the space to do the things he loves to do is the best thing that a person can do for their partner – and he'll recognize it.

Should you prioritize your partner over your family?

"However, it's actually healthier to make your spouse the first priority." This is because it benefits all of your family members. If you have an emotionally solid marriage with a good foundation, your children will feel happier, more stable and more secure, Thomas says.