Stopped talking to my mother Reddit

I cut contact with my dad and his wife (my stepmother- the second one, in fact). My dad's always been something of a flake, never there when I needed him, but always making empty promises that he would be. I like to think my mom did a hell of a job raising me, because she always encouraged me to try to have a relationship with him. Eventually I started seeing the truth and realized he'd rather run away from his mistakes than to face them, including his own child. He's never apologized for practically forcing my mom to raise me without a father and for refusing to pay more than the minimum in child support. He tries to make up for it with expensive gifts and sweet talk when we see each other.. but as soon as I realized he was trying to buy my affection and forgiveness I started becoming bitter towards him. But the "last straw" for me came recently.

Last summer, my grandmother (his mother) passed away of cancer. It was the most awful experience any of us have ever had. The night of the wake, his wife got angry that my dad was drinking and abandoned him to drive across the state to go home. He eventually made it back there, but the damage was done regarding her relationship with the rest of the family.

At Thanksgiving, they came to visit. This was the first Thanksgiving after grandma passed, so the whole family was there and it was very important that it went without a hitch for Grandpa's sake. She hid in the basement the whole time, then picked another fight with him for drinking. Somehow she managed to turn it into being the rest of the family's fault and got him on her side, so that night they left. No apology, no remorse for just ditching the family on a holiday like that.

My dad texted me when they made it home and let me know he made it safely, but then told me it was my aunt and uncle's fault and that they were saying untruths about him. I told him I hoped he realized I know better than to believe that, and that I didn't want to talk to him for a long while.

I haven't heard a single thing from him since then. I'm honestly shocked at how okay I am with this, but I am also very disappointed that he didn't even try to talk about it after that. He has ignored birthdays and even skipped my uncle's wedding in the meantime. So, even though I'm glad to not have the drama in my life anymore, I'm pretty sad about it too. But I'm not ready to contact him again myself- I've always been the one to reach out to him, and I'm tired of that. I shouldn't have to be the only one trying to have a relationship with him. It goes both ways, and if he's not going to try then I'm not going to keep trying anymore.

Whew, thanks for the opportunity to vent about it.

If you honestly feel like you will be better off without them, then that's what you need to do. I don't know your story, but if you feel you can't maintain a healthy relationship with them then for your own sake you should at least reduce contact. Don't feel bad for doing it or let others tell you you're wrong to or anything like that. Do what you need to do for you, not what everybody else wants you to do.

My mom and I always had a tumultuous relationship and she’s been very toxic in my life. I try not to blame her the hardships in my life but she certainly made it much more difficult to navigate.

Now I’m 35 and have a family of my own. I cannot and will not deal with her negativity any longer. She was horrible, and barely even a mother to me and she’s the same to her grandchild. And now that I have a child of my own, I feel sick to my stomach because I understands the depths of her actions.

We had a huge falling out over Christmas and I decided to sever the relationship completely. I feel relieved. I’m ok with not talking to her again. I accept that my relationship with my mom will never be what I longed for but I deserve to be loved and respected. It hurts too much to hold on so I decided to let it go.. and I’m making my peace with it. I don’t hate my mom.

I might not have a relationship I want with my mom but I could work on becoming a good mom to my own child.

I feel sad. I’m mourning the loss of a parent. Why is the one person who’s supposed to love me incapable of doing so? I struggle with self worth because of her.

It started in 2010 when my daughter was born, I was still living with her and her husband at the time. I really should have seen the warning signs, it was all there, they got me to change my last name to match theirs, call themselves mummy and daddy behind my back, she was even the first person to see her crawl and she took that special moment away from me! I was naive for years until I got with my fiance in 2012. She'd never liked any of my boyfriends and she disliked him the most, she disliked everything about him, his family and even insulted his mother calling her fattie because she stood up to my mother. We got into a massive argument one day in 2013 where she tried to kick me out but stopped me because she forgot that meant I'd take her baby with me, literally got my bro to keep her out of my reach refused to let me take her and threatened to call the police (wish I'd called her bluff at that point and did it for her!) In the end I moved out and lived with my bfs family for three months before finally moving into my own home. After I moved out it got worse, she would ring me weekly and leave me in tears after each call, she insist we'd see her weekly or biweekly minimum, every time she saw her she'd ignore me and my bf and just interact with my daughter and even one time left us downstairs on our own (with our second daughter, they don't care about my second daughter.) I already tired no contact with her but she sent me a letter saying how sorry she is and she wants to make amends (this was during my pregnancy with my second) and like a fool I gave her a second chance and things were amazing at first but soon quickly went back to the way they were. What the final straw was that we told them that we weren't going to them one weekend in August 2014 coz my daughter was naughty, like really naughty and was given plenty of warnings and they couldn't take it and we ended up having another row, they asked what they wanted from me and I told them (with a few choice words) my reply was a letter from her sister saying I was being unfair and told me I should forget everything and move on, so I left it until a month later when I put this post on my Fb which was a promised to my children but because it mentioned stalking and over stuff (which wasn't the point of why I posted it) she and my bro called me out on it and accused me of abusing my children! So I saw red, not and told her to go fuck herself and deleted her, my step dad, bro, sister, aunts, uncles and cousins off fb and apart from the odd message or two from my sister I haven't spoken to any of them. I still see my gran (her mother) she keeps trying to get me to make amends but as of yet (2017) hasn't been successful.

The worst thing about it is the not talking to the rest of the family, my mother will just have pathetic outbursts at family gathering and they all take her side (she did it once coz my sister was getting on with her life at uni, near Christmas and missed a couple of their very important every other night phone calls) she's taken everything from me just because I stood up for myself and ask my mother to LOVE me!

I'm sorry about the long rant, I just needed to get this shit off my chest and clear my head (otherwise I'll have another panic attack) thank you if you've taken your time to read this, it makes me feel a little better to know there are people in similar situations as me. Even tho it would be better to have my mother realised what she's done and change. HA!

Is it OK not to talk to your mother?

Is it normal to not want to talk to your parents?

Is it OK to stop talking to your parents?

Is it normal to not have a good relationship with your mom?