What is the best way to get to know someone over text?

But before we get started, let’s take a moment to acknowledge the fact that this whole process can feel daunting. I mean, how are we supposed to present ourselves in a way that’s both genuine and appealing through mere words on a screen?

Don’t worry, I promise it’s not as hard as it seems. With these proven tips, you’ll be winning them over in no time.

By the time you finish reading, you will know how to:

• Identify 5 texting habits that indicate someone likes you
• Make your romantic interest smile via text
• Make them chase you so they don’t lose interest

At its core, getting someone to like you over text messages is an extension of the banter lessons we teach at The Art of Charm.

The Key to Effortless Flirting Over Text Messages

Whether you’re texting someone you just met or someone you’ve known for a while, the most important piece of advice is to have fun.

Keep your texts playful and lighthearted. Make someone smile and light up when they see your message and you are on your way to getting them to like you over text.

But how will you know if someone likes you or they’re just playing games?

5 Obvious Texting Habits That Reveal Someone Likes You

There are a lot of ways to tell if someone likes you based on how they text, but here are five of the most common texting habits that give it away.

1) Quick to respond

Short response times are the most obvious texting habit that clue you in on whether or not someone likes you.

If someone is excited to talk to you, the easiest way to tell is how quickly they respond to your messages. If they send a message back within minutes (or even seconds), it’s a good sign that they’re into you.

It’s even better if it turns into a back-and-forth conversation where you’re texting each other in real-time.

2) They ask questions

The next texting habit is whether or not they’re asking you questions.

Attraction stems from the curiosity you feel about someone, so if someone is into you, they will ask questions about you. They want to know more about who you are and what makes you tick.

3) They keep the conversation going

If someone likes you, they will want to keep talking to you.

They might ask another question right after sending you a text. Or after you answer a question they asked, they might answer it themselves without you asking.

Pay attention to how the conversation flows. If it feels like you’re pulling teeth after you start talking, it could mean they’re not into you (or they don’t like texting).

4) Vulnerability

Being vulnerable can be scary.

And it can be scarier over text messages in the early stages because we can’t see facial expressions or body language. We can only read how they want to respond via text message.

But vulnerability is how we connect as humans. So if the other individual opens up and shares personal details about their life, it is a good sign they like you and trust you not to judge them.

5) Good morning and good night texts

If someone texts you, they are thinking about you.

So, if someone is thinking about you in the morning, they are likely starting their day with good thoughts about you.

And if someone texts you good night, it means they’re ending their day thinking about you and how they hope to see you again soon.

How to Make Your Romantic Interest Smile Over Text

“At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

The goal then is to make people feel good whenever they’re texting you so they will associate you with positive feelings. And people want to spend time around people who make them feel good.

You may not be able to see their face, but here are some surefire ways to make your romantic interest smile by text:

Tease them. Don’t be afraid to poke fun at someone you’re texting in a playful, good-natured way. Not only does teasing someone makes them laugh, but it shows that you’re not just a suck-up.

Teasing alone can show that you have confidence, and this will help build attraction.

Here’s an example of a fun text to send someone that reflects this confident, playful teasing:

• “You’re a closet dork, aren’t you… except without the closet!”
• “When we go out on Friday… do you promise not to kidnap me?”
• “If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket left… I’d miss you tons and think of you often”

Make fun of yourself. A surefire way to get someone to smile over text is to make fun of yourself in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way. By making fun of yourself, you get them laughing and show that it’s okay for them to let their guard down. They’ll feel more comfortable with you, which will allow them to become more attracted to you.

Examples:

• “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure”
• “Take my advice—I’m not using it!”

Guess their answers. Another way to have fun and keep your texts interesting is to guess how they might answer. This is a great way to turn boring text into a flirty text, separate yourself from others, and ultimately get them interested in you.

For example, your text could read:

• “What are you up to this weekend? Let me guess… taking a speed knitting class so you can make me a scarf! You are sooo sweet!”
• “How was your vacation? Wait, let me guess… you made friends with a mysterious old man who taught you how to be a master jewel thief!”

Roleplay. The same banter techniques that work in meeting and attracting someone in real life also work great over text. Initiate a scenario in which you’re already a couple in some capacity: a husband and wife headed toward divorce, a rock star and a groupie, a pair of buddy cops on the case—anything else you can think of.

Banter through made-up roleplay is great.

It provides a playful way to create a shared experience that makes the other person smile. The other person also feels more connected to you by sharing what your collaborative imaginations can come up with.

Examples to get roleplay rolling:

• “Green Sparrow, I’ve got the target in my sights! Should I take the shot? Over!”
• “I’m in the lab inventing a new ice cream flavor. What should I bring us home for dessert, dear?”
• “I’m putting together a crew for a bank heist this weekend. What skillset are you bringing to the table?”
• “I’m looking for a superhero sidekick. Tell me about the last time you saved the world from an evil supervillain.”

Make Them Chase You

When seeking romance, we tend to go for the ones who provide us with some kind of challenge—and this goes both ways. Make things too easy for your prospective partner and it will be a turn-off, so give them the chance to chase you.

You can do this by following these two texting tips:

Disqualify yourself. To look more confident and avoid coming across as needy, playfully disqualify yourself from your crush’s dating pool. That is a joke about how the two of you would never be right for each other.

You could, for instance, text something like: “Woah, woah! You like [thing s/he likes]? I didn’t know you were that type! I might have to get my mom’s permission just to kick it with you…”

By playfully pushing away like this, you create the space for them to chase you.

Do not over-text. This is one of the worst texting mistakes as too much texting can destroy attraction. As a general rule, whoever is putting the most effort into communication is the one doing the chasing.

So if you want to be pursued rather than the pursuer, then you must not over-text.

Instead, look to keep the text ratio close to 1:1 and text the other person about as frequently as they text you.

Make Someone Feel Special over Text Messages

Another trick to make someone like you over text is to stroke their ego. Let them know they’ve made a positive impact on you and that they’re still on your mind.

An example of this would be:

• “I just saw the cutest little squirrel in the park gathering nuts and it made me think of you!”

A text like this is going to make the other person feel special—and making someone feel good is a surefire way to get them to like you.

Can you fall in love through texting?

You can start falling in love through texting, but to fall in love requires more than words on a screen. Text messaging is great for getting to know someone. It can help you figure out if there is a spark of chemistry present, but to fall in love with someone, you have to spend time together and get to know each other on a deeper level. If the two of you hit it off with a good conversation over text, then move on to meeting up for a date.

Don’t spend too much time texting because it’s easy for people to lose interest. There’s more to falling in love with someone than the words, emojis, and memes they use. 

In a Nutshell

Whether you want to know how to make someone like you or you’re just looking for ways to make your text convos more interesting, we’re here for you.

Remember the tips:

Have fun! If your love life isn’t fun, you’re doing it wrong.

The 5 texting habits of someone who likes you. Short response times, asks questions, easy and fluid conversation, comfortable opening up, and good morning/night texts.

Make your romantic interest smile by teasing playfully, making fun of yourself, guessing their answers, and roleplaying. Make them feel good about texting you and it will lead them to text you more.

Make them chase you by disqualifying yourself and NOT over-texting. Disqualifying yourself makes you look confident because you don’t need anyone’s validation to feel good about yourself. And keep the 1:1 text ratio so you maintain your mystery and keep them wanting more.

You can’t fall in love over text, but you can find out if there’s a spark of chemistry. If you want to fall in love, you have to spend time with someone.

If you don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up, check out Conversation Magic now to make sure your next date doesn’t crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you’ll be flirting up a storm, sparking unforgettable conversations, and attracting the high-quality humans you want to date!

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