“Hey, I know this is random, but I saw you walking by and you caught my eye. I had to meet you. I’m Dave.” Show “Wow, thanks! I’m Jessica,” she replies and shakes your outreached hand. The conversation shifts back to you. At that precise moment, your mind goes blank. You mutter something bland, like “Yeah it’s good to meet you…” without adding any more value to the conversation. “Yes, it is! But I have to run! Have a good day!” she says. And just like that, in a split second, you miss your opportunity. Sucks, right? We’ve all been in that type of situation before. We start off well, but then go blank, and the conversation stalls. So, how can you prevent this? What should you say and do after you approach her? That’s what this post is all about! Let’s dive in. The IntroductionBefore you do anything else, you should be sure to introduce yourself. Something simple like, “I’m Dave by the way.” She’ll usually respond with her name, and when she does, you should shake her hand. This helps build an initial level of comfort, and makes it seem like the two of you aren’t strangers anymore. The First QuestionOnce you do the intro, there’s a key question you should follow up with… This question is so simple, you’ll kick yourself for not thinking of it earlier. Heck, you might even use it now, but you probably don’t understand its power (and so you’re using it wrong). Here’s the question: “What are you up to?” (I told you it was simple, right?) It’s powerful because it can instantly tell you her logistics. You’ll know:
(As you’ll see in a minute, this is very important information.) You may get responses like:
The 3 Different Situations You’ll Face – and How to Handle Each1. She’s in a RushShe stops to talk to you, but she’s clearly in a rush and has to do something. You can usually pick up on this through her vibe, or simply by the way she answers your “What are you up to?” question. So, what should you do if you’ve only got a minute or less to talk to her? A lot of guys think this isn’t enough time to do anything, but they’re wrong. If you think she’s attractive and you’d like to see her again, you should STILL ask for her number. It doesn’t matter that you’ve just met her – you literally have nothing to lose. Here’s what you should say if she’s in a rush: “I know this is random and we literally just met, but you have a really fun/interesting vibe. We should grab a drink this week or next.” By saying “I know this is random and we just met,” you signal that you have social intelligence, while also addressing her potential objection of “But we just met!” BEFORE she can say it. If she says, “Yeah, that sounds fun!” you can say, “Okay, awesome!” Then pull out your phone, bring it to the “add contact” screen, hand it to her, and tell her to put her number into your phone. If she says something along the lines of “No” followed by an excuse (like “I have a boyfriend”), you can say, “No worries, just take it as a compliment then,” and leave the conversation. 2. She Has a Few Minutes to TalkShe lets you know she’s meeting up with a friend in a few minutes, or perhaps at the beginning of her lunch break from work. You can tell she’s not in a huge rush, but she does have somewhere to be in a little while. Your goal here should be to make a good first impression, and get her number at a high point in the conversation. All you really have to do here is make an assumptive statement (i.e. make a guess about her). There are three types of assumptive statements you can make:
These statements will give you some good, fun conversational material. From here, you should be able to keep the conversation going for 2-3 minutes. Then, when the conversation seems to be at a high point (the two of you are laughing, realize you have something in common, etc.), tell her you need to go, and ask for her number. You can say something like, “Listen, it’s been great to meet you. I gotta go, but you seem like a lot of fun. We should grab a drink this week or next.” Once she says “Yes!” pull out your phone and have her put her number in. 3. She’s Got A Lot of Time on Her HandsAfter approaching her, you realize she’s not really doing much right now. She’s not in a rush and she doesn’t have to be anywhere. Here, you have two options: 1. Take her on an “instant date” We’ll get to both of these scenarios in a second – but let’s talk about some more conversational tools you can use to extend the conversation. Aside from making statements, you can also:
All of these conversation tips will help you extend the conversation and connect with her. Okay, now let’s get back to those two options we mentioned before… How to take her on an “instant date”: Here, you can say, “I’m not in a big rush right now and you seem like fun. I know a great ice cream/coffee place down the street. What do you say we check it out?” The benefit of an “instant date” like this is that it can create a deeper connection and more familiarity with the girl. The danger is it can lead to you getting friendzoned. For it to work well, you need to maintain the flirtatious, man-to-woman type of vibe throughout the interaction (which can sometimes be difficult in a daytime setting if you don’t have a lot of experience). As for the second scenario (talk to her for a little while and grab her number), you basically just do the same thing as you would if she had a few minutes to talk. Maybe you stay in for a few extra minutes and use the three conversation tips from this section. Then, you get her number at a high point in the interaction and leave. You now have a solid structure to handle most of the situations when you’ll be approaching a girl. Internalize this structure, and you won’t have to worry about “running out of things to say” after you approach her. You’ll be able to make the conversation interesting and connect with her. In doing so, you’ll give yourself the best chance to get her number and see her again. Bonus for Love Life Solved Readers I want to share with you guys my Conversation Cheat Sheet. It’s filled with hacks you can use to have better conversations with women. All you have to do is let me know which email you want it sent to here, and I’ll send it to you for free. You’ll learn: How do you approach a girl for beginners?Look for Go Signals. Do approach a girl if she is sitting/standing and looks relaxed. ... . Do approach if you've noticed her sending several glances and/or smiles your way. ... . Don't approach a girl if she looks upset. ... . Don't approach a girl if she is deeply preoccupied with something.. What to say when approaching a girl you don't know?If you're approaching a girl in person, give her a warm smile and read her body language to see if she seems ready to talk. Then strike up a conversation about where you are, ask her friendly questions, make her laugh, and leave her wanting more by asking for her contact information.
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