What to say when someone vents over text

At altruWisdom, we promote having the tough conversations with your family and making sure feelings are spoken instead of buried. This practice can lead to a lot of venting. Check out how we recommend you help your venting teammates move forward.

In your pursuit of financial freedom, you will likely experience frustrations and exasperation. To be truly successful in life and reach your financial goals, you will need to have difficult conversations with your loved ones. These conversations can be intimidating, because they can involve a lot of venting, and many are unsure how to behave and react to it. Luckily, we have found an article explaining the best techniques to help those that vent to release their negative energy and focus on a solution.

The article explains that there are two common reactions from the listener:

Option 1 - jump in and give advice -- but this is not the same as listening, and the person doing the venting may respond with "Just listen to me! Don't tell me what to do."

Option 2 (usually attempted after Option 1) - swing to the other extreme, and sit there silently. But this doesn't actively help the person doing the venting to drain their negative emotions. Consequently, it is about as rewarding as venting to your dog."

Instead of using the 2 options, try something different:

1. Ask the venter what they are most frustrated about. This question does not sound condescending, removes all judgement and allows the person to vent without any fear. After the initial wave of venting has passed, pick out the words that were said with the most exposed emotion. Then ask the venter to speak more about those words/issues.

2. Ask the venter what they are most angry about. This opens up the floodgates for the second wave of venting. It is necessary for you to listen without interruption. Once again, once they are done, ask them to address the most emotion-filled words further. If you have a hard time listening to negativity without starting to feel emotional yourself, we have a trick you could try. Stare into the venters left eye the entire time they vent, imagining it to be an eye of a hurricane. This will allow the "wall of the hurricane" - the negativity, pass over you, without affecting you directly.

3. Ask the venter what they are really worried about. Having listened to the first 2 waves of venting, you have earned the venter's trust and can now be rewarded by listening to the root of the problem. Following the final wave of venting, you can turn the venter's mind towards the solution, by noting that you understand why they are frustrated, angry and worried. You may mention that unfortunately, time cannot be turned back and that there is no way to change the situation, but a solution can be found. Offer your help in finding the solution, as you are now fully equipped with the knowledge of the real problem.

Employ these techniques when dealing with a venting friend or a family member. This will establish your empathetic status, and your loved ones will rely on you and your advice in the future.

Having the support, trust and empathy of your loved ones will assist you in reaching all goals you have set out for yourself in your personal and financial life. Check out Building Your Leadership Skills Checklist to learn how you can apply your newfound listening skills in building a better future for yourself.

Featured

We all know that we should save more, but why is it that some people (like Buffet) find it easy, while others struggle with putting any money away?

We cover taxes, mortgages, rents, government relief, lost income measures, and how to manage your money through this COVID-19 Coronavirus crisis.

This article is meant to help small businesses pay employees, access loans, understand benefits and survive the coronavirus crisis.

Overwhelmed by terms like mortgage deferral, mortgage vacation, mortgage amortization, missing or skipping a mortgage payment, and more. Don’t worry, we have a list of steps. Follow along and we will show you the best ways to manage that mortgage payment in these uncertain times.

• Can I stay home from work if I feel unsafe?

• What are the EI options and what if I don’t qualify?

• Does my employer have to pay me while I’m quarantined?

• What does a temporary layoff mean for me?

• Do I have to accept reduced hours or lower wages?

• Do I have to use my vacation time?

• Am I entitled to severance pay if my employer closes down?

• Schools are closed, can I get time off to stay home?

• Do I qualify for EI without symptoms?

We cover taxes, mortgages, rents, government relief, lost income measures, and how to manage your money through this COVID-19 Coronavirus crisis.

It is more challenging than ever for young people to begin to live independently. It is also more common and less taboo for a young person to rely on their parents, compared to earlier generations. 

We all know that we should save more, but why is it that some people (like Buffet) find it easy, while others struggle with putting any money away?

As Warren Buffet says,  “Do not save what is left after spending; instead spend what is left after saving.” If that’s easier said than done, you probably have some work to do on your saving habits. Not to worry, we’re here to help! 

When you think about adulting, it’s all about relying on your parents less, right? Well, here’s the secret: As you grow up and rely less on your parents, they, sensing your newfound confidence and maturity, will begin to rely more on you! It’s the circle of life (cue the Lion King music), and this post will walk you through the talks you need to have with your parents to prepare you as they hand over the torch. If your parents already treat you as their tech support hotline...you know it’s time for this talk!

Send me the latest financial knowledge & life advice

We respect your privacy.

Thank you!

Featured

Sign up for lessons to give you the answers to your big financial and life questions!