Why dont i want a boyfriend

So I’ve not been with many boys before. I’m 17 and not too long ago me and this guy did some stuff together. We didn’t go all the way but yeah we did stuff. He’s on at me a lot about being his grirlfriend and honestly I really don’t want to! I don’t really want any involvement with boys and I don’t know wh I just don’t! I’m very career focused and I hate when people say women need a man to be happy! No we do not! Don’t get me wrong, I would love kids one day I just don’t want to have the relationship that usually leads to them! All the girls at school love boys and want relationships. Is it weird that I don’t?! Is there something wrong with me!?

Also how do I tell this lad without looking like I used him!?

(Original post by Styles1994x) So I’ve not been with many boys before. I’m 17 and not too long ago me and this guy did some stuff together. We didn’t go all the way but yeah we did stuff. He’s on at me a lot about being his grirlfriend and honestly I really don’t want to! I don’t really want any involvement with boys and I don’t know wh I just don’t! I’m very career focused and I hate when people say women need a man to be happy! No we do not! Don’t get me wrong, I would love kids one day I just don’t want to have the relationship that usually leads to them! All the girls at school love boys and want relationships. Is it weird that I don’t?! Is there something wrong with me!?

Also how do I tell this lad without looking like I used him!?

No offense but you're 17, you're still a child. You haven't really experienced proper life yet (or not fully at least), you're still confused about yourself in certain ways. But no there's nothing wrong with that. You're entitled to your opinion that you don't need men to be happy and that's fine.

(Original post by Anonymous)
No offense but you're 17, you're still a child. You haven't really experienced proper life yet (or not fully at least), you're still confused about yourself in certain ways. But no there's nothing wrong with that. You're entitled to your opinion that you don't need men to be happy and that's fine.

Sometimes I feel like that, but each point has its own argument. Like I would like to be in a relationship, but at the same time I don’t want commitment, since I find it difficult to keep up with relationships.

(Original post by Styles1994x) So I’ve not been with many boys before. I’m 17 and not too long ago me and this guy did some stuff together. We didn’t go all the way but yeah we did stuff. He’s on at me a lot about being his grirlfriend and honestly I really don’t want to! I don’t really want any involvement with boys and I don’t know wh I just don’t! I’m very career focused and I hate when people say women need a man to be happy! No we do not! Don’t get me wrong, I would love kids one day I just don’t want to have the relationship that usually leads to them! All the girls at school love boys and want relationships. Is it weird that I don’t?! Is there something wrong with me!?

Also how do I tell this lad without looking like I used him!?

I'm the same but I'm a guy and when a girl tries something with me I'm like....

Haha I get you 100%

Haha I get you 100%

If you are no longer interested in this guy, break up with him and give him the chance to find a girlfriend who wants to be with him. There's nothing wrong with you. People want different things and aim for different life goals. You prefer a career to a romantic partnership. At this point in your life, you don't want commitment to a long term relationship. You might change your mind in 10 years or you might feel the same. I'm 23, live alone and have been single for 4 years. I am happy with my life and don't believe that people need a partner or sexual relationship to be happy, regardless of gender or relationship status. It's easy to have children with IVF using donor sperm from a stranger. But life as a single parent is hard. If you decide to have children through IVF, you might want to consider getting a friend or someone you know to donate. That way any child you have will always know who both their parents are and the father would still be involved in the child's life. You could agree to co-parent together- with no sexual relationship involved.

(Original post by Styles1994x) So I’ve not been with many boys before. I’m 17 and not too long ago me and this guy did some stuff together. We didn’t go all the way but yeah we did stuff. He’s on at me a lot about being his grirlfriend and honestly I really don’t want to! I don’t really want any involvement with boys and I don’t know wh I just don’t! I’m very career focused and I hate when people say women need a man to be happy! No we do not! Don’t get me wrong, I would love kids one day I just don’t want to have the relationship that usually leads to them! All the girls at school love boys and want relationships. Is it weird that I don’t?! Is there something wrong with me!?

Also how do I tell this lad without looking like I used him!?

Is there any personal issue? Why don't you want a boyfriend?

(Original post by Styles1994x) So I’ve not been with many boys before. I’m 17 and not too long ago me and this guy did some stuff together. We didn’t go all the way but yeah we did stuff. He’s on at me a lot about being his grirlfriend and honestly I really don’t want to! I don’t really want any involvement with boys and I don’t know wh I just don’t! I’m very career focused and I hate when people say women need a man to be happy! No we do not! Don’t get me wrong, I would love kids one day I just don’t want to have the relationship that usually leads to them! All the girls at school love boys and want relationships. Is it weird that I don’t?! Is there something wrong with me!?

Also how do I tell this lad without looking like I used him!?

I don’t want a boyfriend at this point of my life. For the first time in a long time, I am proud of having some me time, focusing on other aspects of life. I know that all of my friends are now in serious relationships. And I know I always said I wanted a boyfriend. But now, all I can say is, I really don’t want a boyfriend.

I want to go to a late night movie, not watch a movie late at night in your couch. I want to go grab some drinks to some chic pub, not drink a bottle of wine while talking about our future in my bed. I want to kiss you as we are both drunk and then go back to my house feeling butterflies, not end up wasted together and waking up next to each other, cozily snuggling under the covers. I want to dress up and look gorgeous for our date, not wear my yoga pants as you tell me how beautiful and cute I look on them even without any make-up on.

For once, I want to meet boys and enjoy myself without feeling like I’m letting them in my heart. I don’t want to open up to them and have them know my every little secrets and demons I carry within me. I don’t want to feel protected. I don’t want to feel that tenderness towards you that makes me feel in cloud nine and that I want to bake you cookies and give you long massages. I don’t want to get nervous, anxious and sad, all at the same time, whenever you don’t text me on a Sunday. I don’t want to be with someone who can mean so much to me. I don’t want to depend on you. I don’t want to need you.

This time I want to enjoy myself. I want to have fun and meet new people without feeling tied to them. At the end of the night I want to come home, put on my favorite PJs and have some hot chocolate with homemade cookies, as I relish in the moments I spent with my date. I want to get home, with the taste of first kisses and soft made promises of second dates, which may or may not happen at all. I want to end the night joyful because of the time we spent together, because it was then and there, and because it was perfect in its own unique way.

I want this feeling of longing for one specific person to be gone. I want to break free from the way a boyfriend would make me feel. I don’t want to be swept off my feet. I don’t want to be head over heels. I need these feelings to be taken away from me. I need not to wish for them anymore. I need it because giving me completely to someone would be too much. I need to keep my heart, soul and body to myself for some time, as the pieces come together and find their way back to me.

I don’t want a love like The Notebook right now. I believe at some point I will dream again of loving someone and being loved. But just for now, I’m feeling too weak to hand myself to anyone, to pour my feelings in someone and become used to their kisses and hugs. Just for now I need to focus on me and learn how to love myself before I can love anyone else.