How do you meet people moving to a new city Reddit?

I just graduated college and moved to a new town about 45 minutes from where I grew up. I've got a good job, but I'm single with no kids, so I really can't relate to coworkers, but I've got too many responsibilities to party with my old college friends.

***post edit: single meaning not married, I have a boyfriend, he just lives 4 hrs away. Sorry, going by how I filed my taxes. Whoops.

level 1

[deleted]

I moved to a new city alone at 26, I imagine it only gets harder as you get older:

• Step one is fill up your time. Sign up for things: volunteering, sports, meet ups, art class, hiking etc. Just be (around) other people.

• Step two is always say yes to anything anyone suggest to do.

• Step three is start suggesting things to do with other people, keep asking until you figure out who is down to do stuff. Doing stuff usually leads to meeting more people.

• Step four is ditch the time-fill activities (unless you really love them) and just do stuff with the people you now hang out with.

level 2

This is seriously better than anything a Google search has given me. I needed a step by step. Thank you!

level 2

Comment removed by moderator · 6 yr. ago

level 2

Suggested tweak: Fill up your time with things that are inherently sociable, ideally activities where everyone goes for a drink together afterwards since this is when you get to know each other.

I imagine team sports or ones where you gather as a group (like fencing) would fit this criteria better than games that you just play one on one (like a squash ladder). The same goes with some dance styles being more sociable than others (I'd recommend swing dancing ).

My situation was similar in terms of moving city at 22. Thankfully I found lindy hop, as the dancing and community around it are fantastic.

level 2

To add to this, I joined an adult kickball league last year (I'm in the bar industry so there's never a lack of social interaction, I did it for the networking), but it turns out most decently sized cities have one, and in general it's a lot of fun, a great way to network and meet people, and all the proceeds go to charity as well.

level 2

I like video games, but I'm older than your average gamer kid. I started going to lans about 5-6 years ago and now have a handful of friends around my age who're also gamers, and we meet regularly for gaming sessions, or play online weekly.

level 2

I'll second that. /u/cheesefriesandcats , I'll add my extra as well. I'm now 28 and moved to 4 different countries for work (about 1/2 years each)

• Step one is definitely the most important. Just join social circles similar to your interest. For me personally, it's playing football (soccer), gym activities, and gamer gatherings. I made most of my friends through this. You have plenty of websites (meetup being a really good one) with social circles available for you to join anytime, definitely advised

• Step 2 obviously depends on you, but yeah, try doing "unusual stuff". You're in a new place, people might have different habits, might as well try, right?

• Don't really agree with step 3 tbh. I'd say be part of a group first. The people you just met won't really be down for your stuff anyway

• Same for step 4. Join social circles that are close to your "time-fill activities", and fill your time with your friends. You like board games? Well get friends to play them with you. You're a chess player? Well go wherever people play chess. Whatever floats your boat.

In my experience, my least pleasant time abroad was in Sweden (first time abroad) when I decided to basically apply step 4. I ditched my own stuff to make sure I had friends. Eventually realized the friends I made didn't really resonate with me anyway since our activities are different but I decided to join them because I preferred it to being alone. Today I made friends who have similar interests to mine and I feel at home in London!

level 2

Exactly this. As someone who just moved abroad and had to learn again how to make friends, I can totally relate to this. One thing I 'd like to add is be assertive. Invite people over for dinner or drinks, don't let them always take the iniative.You will also meet a lot of new people through mutual friends. Like you hang out, your friend brings some friends over and you get to know them as well.

Also I 'd like to add the idea of picking one night to go out. I just got out of uni, where every night was party night. Now me and my friends are all working during the week, so we dont have time. Now we just pick 1 day during the weekend, meet up and go totally crazy.

level 2

Did this, now trying to move across the country again largely because of the lack of success.

level 2

Just be other people.

Got it, don't be myself. This is good advice considering who I am.

level 2

It is really weird making friends as an adult, it feels like asking someone out. So, would you like to hang out again? perhaps I could get your number, we could go kayaking this weekend. I have moved a lot in my adult life, so I have made a lot of friends and it never really gets that much less weird.

level 2

What if they ask me to do drugs?!?!

level 2

Don't say yes to everyone. The first people to approach a new person in a job or small town are not the people you want to hang out with.

If you are in a conservative town, join a church. Any church. Even if you hate religion. The people in Nebraska are actually very nice, unless they think you reject or look down on their core values. Kind of like the Taliban, but wearing Crocs instead of burqas.

level 2

Step 2 is HUGE. and it works BOTH ways. When you have people in your life who consistently say NO to suggestions to do fun things then it's important to eliminate them from your life.

How do you find people moving to a new city?

What to do when you move to a new city and have no friends?

How long does it take to meet people in a new city?

How long does it take to make friends in a new town?