How to get a girl to tell you her problems

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Maybe she's giving you the silent treatment, or maybe she's told you that nothing's wrong in a tone of voice that's hardly convincing. Whatever the case may be, you know there's something bothering her that she's not telling you. Gently persuade her to open up to you by understanding and addressing the reasons she might be staying quiet in the first place.

Step 1

Reflect on why she might be reluctant to talk about it. Women often strongly desire a form of emotional closeness where their partners can understand and anticipate their needs without having things explained to them. Try to figure out what's going on in her head, even if you can only partially guess.

Step 2

Explain what your best guess is as to why she is upset and she may be more willing to open up to you all the way. If you're not sure, at least get into the general ballpark to show that you're trying. Guess with wide categories, such as, “Did something happen this morning?” or “Did I say the wrong thing?” She may be more likely to start opening up if she can begin with a “yes” or “no” reply.

Step 3

Ask her questions about how she's feeling. Try to ask questions that get close to the issue, if you think you know what it is, such as "This was a stressful day, wasn't it?" or "You really wanted everything to go perfectly at this party, didn't you?" Gently encourage her to talk about what's on her mind and what she's feeling and be a good listener when she does.

Step 4

Look for small ways that you can show understanding of her needs without being prompted. Do helpful, practical things for her that demonstrate this understanding, like assisting with chores. Even if you can't guess the specific issue, proving that you're sensitive to other issues may make her more likely to open up about what is wrong.

Step 5

Give her your undivided attention for a while. Be attentive in a noninvasive way that shows that you are available and interested in what she's feeling. Respond to what she has to say, and avoid changing topics too early, giving short answers to her questions or appearing distracted. Be emotionally available to help her feel comfortable opening up.

Step 6

Open up about some of your own feelings, if it seems appropriate and welcome. If she feels like opening up would make her too vulnerable, some vulnerability from you will equalize the situation, even if you're opening up about something that isn't related to the matter at hand.

Step 7

Ask her directly, if all else fails and if you believe you have a right to know what's on her mind. Tell her that you'd like to understand why it is that she isn't telling you what's going on and that you've done everything you can to make her feel comfortable enough to open up. Explain that you need her to take the next step and come forward.

If a girl has been talking to you about her problems then you might be wondering why and what it means about how she feels about you.

This post will show you a number of reasons why she might have talked to you about her problems and why other girls might do it as well in the future.

So, what does it mean when a girl talks to you about her problems? It would likely mean that she considers you a friend. She still might be attracted to you if she also shows signs of attraction around you that she doesn’t with other people.

5 Signs Someone Likes You

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Since there are actually a number of reasons why a girl might talk to you about her problems it would help to consider the body language that she shows around you and the context of how she does it.

Why a girl will talk to you about her problems

Each of the different reasons why she talks to you about her problems will likely come with a number of clues in the way that she does it and the body language that she shows.

Below, I will mention a number of reasons why a girl will talk to you about her problems, the signs to look for and the things to consider.

She considers you a friend

The reason that she talks to you about her problems is likely to be that she considers you a friend.

This would be more likely if she also does the same thing with her other friends, if she shows the same body language and behavior with you as she does with her other friends and if she doesn’t show any signs of attraction around you (mentioned below).

She likes you

It could be the case that she is actually attracted to you and that she was talking to you about her problems just because she wanted to talk to you.

This would be more likely if she was not talking to you about her boyfriend, if she interacts with you in a different way compared to with her other friends and if she hasn’t been your friend for long.

If she does talk to you about her problems because she likes you then it would be likely that she would show signs of attraction around you such as:

• Holding prolonged eye contact with you
• Having dilated pupils when looking at you
• Touching you a lot
• Standing closer to you than she does with her other friends
• Adjusting her appearance when she sees you
• Laughing and looking to see if you are also laughing
• Giggling a lot at the things that you say
• Pointing her feet at you
• Talking to you at a higher pitch than she does with other people
• Brushing her hair to the side when she is around you
• Stroking her hair while talking to you
• Asking if you have a girlfriend

She was feeling sad

The reason that she was talking to her problems could have been that she was just feeling sad at the time.

This would be more likely if she only did it once and if she was talking to you about something that made her feel sad.

Talking to you about her problems because she was feeling sad would likely be a sign that she considers you as more of a friend.

If she was talking to you about her problems because she was just feeling sad it would be likely that she would have shown signs of being sad such as:

• Talking to you with a flat speech tone
• Watery eyes
• Being more quiet than usual
• Self-hugging
• Drooping the body

She is not attracted to you

Talking to you about her problems could be a sign that she is not attracted to you.

This would be more likely if she does not show many signs of attraction around you, if she shows signs of attraction around other guys and if she tends to talk to her friends about her problems in a similar way.

If she is really not interested in you then she might show signs of it by doing things such as:

• Avoiding eye contact
• Pointing her feet at you
• Crossing her arms when she sees you
• Having tight lips when you talk to her
• Standing further away from you than she does with other people

Consider what she talks to you about

It would help to consider what exactly it is that she talks to you about.

If she talks to you about problems that she has been having with other guys then it will make it more likely that she considers you a friend.

Whereas, if she talks to you about wanting a boyfriend then it could make it more likely that she likes you. However, she could still be doing it because she considers you a friend. It would help to consider the body language she shows around you.

Consider how she reacts to seeing you

Thinking about the way that she reacts to seeing you could also help in figuring out why she talks to you about her problems.

If she reacts to seeing you by showing signs of attraction then it would make it more likely that she does it due to being attracted to you.

So, if she reacts to seeing you by doing things such as:

• Brushing her hair to the side
• Adjusting her appearance
• Holding eye contact
• Pointing her feet at you
• Positioning herself to be nearer to you

Then it would make it more likely that she is actually attracted to you.

Consider how she interacts with her other friends

It would also help to compare the way that she interacts with you with how she interacts with her other friends.

If she shows the same body language and behavior around you as she does with them and she also talks to them about similar things then it would make it more likely that she considers you a friend.

If she shows signs of attraction around you that she doesn’t with her other friends and she talks to you about things that she doesn’t with them such as about your girlfriend then it would be more likely that she is attracted to you.

Look for a cluster of signs

When considering what her body language is suggesting it would help to consider multiple aspects of it at the same time.

This is because a single body language sign can have multiple different meanings making them unreliable on their own. Whereas, it would be more likely that she would show multiple body language signs that all suggest the same thing for that specific reason.

Related

What does it mean when a girl tells you everything? It would likely mean that she considers you a friend especially if she also does it with her other friends and if she shows the same body language around them as with you.

What does it mean when a girl tells you her boyfriend problems? It would be more likely that she considers you a friend. She might be doing it because she is attracted to you especially if she also asks about your girlfriend and if she shows other signs of attraction around you.

What does it mean if a girl shares secrets with you? It most likely would mean that she considers you a friend.

If you want to learn more about body language, a book I would recommend would be The Definitive Book of Body Language (on Amazon). It shows you how to interpret body language and understand people's true intentions.

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