The Art of Seduction (2001) is a mix between a dark psychology text and a seduction manual for men. Show
Bullet Summary
About The Author: Robert Greene might not be a seducer himself and he doesn’t have any educational background in psychology. Part I: The 9 Seducers TypesThe 9 seducers types are sirens, rakes, charmers, charismatics, ideal lovers, dandies, naturals, coquettes, and stars. In the first part of The Art of Seduction Robert Greene describes the personality types of the most successful seducers. For a deeper overview of male seducers types, check out:
#1. SirensThe siren is highly sexual, confident, offering the promise of endless pleasure and a bit of danger. Examples of sirens are Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe. Watch Marilyn Monroe here and read more on seduction here:
Robert Greene says sirens are the most powerful seductresses as they operate on a man’s most basic emotions, and these work on everyone. Dangers of Sirens:Members of the same sex can get jealous. Example: #2. The RakeThe Rake insatiably adores the opposite sex, and their desire is infectious. The Rake is a great female fantasy figure: when he desires a woman he will do anything for her. Sure he may be disloyal, but that only adds to his appeal. The Rake is a guilty pleasure offering what society does not allow women: an affair of pure pleasure with the added bonus of danger. To learn more about the rake type of seducers read: #3. CharmerCharmers want to please and know how to please: they are highly skilled social creatures. Charmers seduce by removing themselves from the equation and taking full interest on their victims.
The Dangers of CharmRobert Greene righteously says that some people tend to view Charmers as slippery and deceitful, and it can create problems for you. Charmers must know then when to get rid of their flexibility and start acting inflexible. Also read:
#4. CharismaticCharisma is an exciting presence. It comes from inner qualities that make you stand out. It can be confidence, sexual energy, sense of purpose or contentment.
Contrary to Charmers, Charismatics thrived during turmoils, when they can show off their daring. Dangers of CharismaCharisma is as volatile as the emotions it creates, says Robert Greene. #5. Ideal LoverIdeal lovers thrive on broken dreams. You long for adventures, romance, losing yourself in the moment? Appeal to lofty ideals together with the carnal desires and sexual affairs will become sense-engulfing love affairs. Dangers of Ideal LoverYou create a fantasy that involves the idealization of your own character. If your faults get in the way, you will destroy that fantasy. #6. DandiesDandies like to play with their image, creating a striking and androgynous allure. They live for pleasure and surround themselves with beauty. The sexes tend to have a chasm between them and they don’t understand the other. The Dandy is reassuring and feels comfortable for having similar traits. A difference with the Rake is that while the Rake’s insolence is tied to conquering a woman, the insolence of the Dandy is aimed at society and conventions: it’s no a woman he’s trying to conquer, but a whole social world. Example: Dangers of DandiesThe Art of Seduction nails when it says that Dandies are likely to be accused of being too masculine -for women- or too feminine -for men-. And of course, insolence can get someone really angry at you. #7. NaturalsNaturals are spontaneous and open. They bring us back to childhood, the golden paradise we consciously or unconsciously try to recreate. The key is to infuse your play with the conviction and feeling of a child, making it seem natural. The more absorbed you seem in your own joy-filled world, the more seductive you become. Example: Dangers of NaturalsTotal childishness can be annoying, so the best Naturals combine adult traits like experience and wisdom with a childlike manner. #8. CoquettesCoquettes are self-sufficient. They seem to say they don’t need you, and their narcissism is devilishly attractive. The real essence of Coquettes is to trap people emotionally. The secret of the coquette it’s not much tease and temptation, the secret weapon of the coquettes is emotional withdrawal. Their withdrawal makes them mysterious… And it makes us insecure. Example Dangers of CoquettesCoquettes play with volatile emotions as love can easily shift into hate. Their absence can’t be too prolonged, anger but must be followed by smiles as the negatives can’t overweight the positives for too long. #9. StarsStars are ethereal and envelop themselves in mystery. Daily life is mundane and can be harsh. The star represents the escape into fantasies and dreams. Dangers of StarsThe danger is that people will tire of your illusion and move to the next up and coming star. Anti-seducersGreene dedicates a chapter to the personalities and traits of the anti-seducers.
See an example of the bumbler here: The 18 Types of Seducer VictimsDon’t think that everyone lacks what you are lacking and don’t try to seduce your own type.
Part 2: The Seductive ProcessPhase I: SeparationYour victims live in their own world, their mind is busy with their daily lives and daily worries. #1. Choose The Right VictimThe perfect victim is the person who stirs you in a way that cannot be explained. There should be some tension, the victim might fear you or even slightly dislike you. T Here are a few categories of people easy to seduce:
Robert Greene says that we all want to be seduced. #2. Create a False Sense of SecurityIf in the opening stages you can make your target think they are doing the first step, you won the game. Whatever action you take to let them come to you, avoid crowding your target: too much attention early on will suggest insecurity and give no room for imagination. Robert Greene says:
My Note: Also read:
#3. Send Mixed SignalsMixed signals suggest depth and it fascinates while it confuses. A question mark, an elusive personality… It will make people want to know more, drawing them in. The Art of Seduction says that great ways of adopting mixed signals are to show attributes running against your physical appearance. Warning: keep your hidden quality subtle or else you’ll seem schizophrenic. #4. Appear an Object of Desire —Create TrianglesThe Art of Seduction says you want your target to see you as someone other want. And that they might lose to these others admirers. Doesn’t have to be a specific conquest, but can be a number of admirers and even past conquests. Also read: #5. Create a Need— Stir Anxiety and DiscontentThe Art of Seduction reminds us that a perfectly happy and content person is difficult to seduce. Hence, you should stir tension and disharmony in your target’s mind. Danger:The risk is in going too far and making your target angry, or defensive. #6. Master the Art of InsinuationA useful skill in the Art of Seduction is the art of insinuation: making your target feel dissatisfied in a non-obvious, socially savvy way. Danger:When the target is already interested in you, skip it. #7. Enter Their SpiritUnderstand them, vibe with them, like what they like, adapt to their moods. Don’t just mirror who they are, but also the ideal person they want to be. Danger:Mirror for too long and they will see through it and be repelled by it. Mirroring is a tactic, a step in your seduction following by them entering into your world. #8. Create TemptationLure your target with the temptation of the pleasure to come. Find that unrealized fantasy they have, that weakness they can’t control and tempt them with it. Phase II – lead astrayYour victims are already intrigued by you, and your goal in this phase is to get them fully hooked and reach the point of no return. #9. Keep them in Suspense- What’s Next?Reliable people are boring. When they know what to expect from you, your spell is broken. The Art of Seduction explains that surprises work because they create a moment when the defenses come down and new emotions can take in.
10. Use Words to Sow ConfusionUse loaded words, sweet ones, flattering ones. Make them feel better, spun fantasies for them and give them promises. They will not just listen, but start falling for you. Danger of Demonic WordsToo much flowery language can seem pretentious and it’s a sign of selfishness. Less is more: vague and ambiguous leave more room for imagination. #11. Pay Attention to DetailsThe devil is in the details and the details are what will differentiate you from the masses. Also think of everything about yourself: the way you look, the way you walk, your moves, your poses. #12. Poeticize Your PresencePeople are dying to fantasize about someone. Embody some ideal or some cultural ideal of beauty. Chivalry, romance, adventure. #13. Disarm With Strategic Weakness and VulnerabilityMost people try to hide our flaws, but what’s natural to our character is also seductive. Something you can’t control can be your most seductive quality. Confess something bad about you, or something bad that you did. One honest gesture will cover many deceitful ones (this is a law of the 48 Laws of Power). But don’t overdo the vulnerability and read:
Danger of WeaknessesSome weaknesses like neediness have no seductive value. And timing is everything: only share it when they’re already falling for you. #14. Confuse Desire and RealityBring their fantasy into reality. Create their fantasy or embody their fantasy. #15. Isolate The VictimAn isolated target is easier to seduce. Isolate them psychologically by having them thinking about you and physically by taking them away from what’s familiar to them. Make your target feel they’re embarking in a great adventure with you, but they are also losing something, like their past or their comfortable life. Phase III – The PrecipiceThe Art of Seduction’s phase III goal is to make everything deeper. Once your hooks are deep into them, you will be able to move at will until they snap. #16. Prove YourselfA self-sacrificing action will overwhelm your target’s emotions. Don’t wait for something exogenous to happen, put your target in a difficult position and rescue them. I’m glad Robert Greene says you should also make your target prove to you: it raises your values and covers your blemishes (read: how to attract high quality men with mutual escalation). #17. Effect a RegressionThe Art of Seduction brings us a super powerful tool when it introduces the Regression. Ask about their childhood. As they talk, adopt a therapist pose. Be attentive but quiet, interject with nonjudgmental comments to keep them talking. Don’t just talk though, you want people to act out their memories in the present. Make your target feel like they are getting what they always missed with you. The Art of Seduction describes the four types of regression:
Some types are more vulnerable to a regression:
They’re often over-compensating. #18. Stir Up the Transgressive and TabooWe all love to explore our dark side, so make your target feel they are going past those limits and into uncharted territory with you. You don’t respect marriage vows, religions or age differences. Someone to theoretically avoid, but in reality terribly seductive. The shared feeling of guilt and complicity will further strengthen your bond. |
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