How to date a married woman secretly

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Love is a complex feeling. In some scenarios, even though you may feel it is going in the right direction, you may stride into a forbidden path with or without your conscience. One such situation is dating a married woman. Being involved in a romantic relationship with a married woman can be complicated and pose serious consequences.

Nonetheless, if you develop feelings for a married woman and sense that she reciprocates, you must be aware of these important points before getting romantically involved with her.

This post gives you some critical details and things to consider before dating a married woman.

Is It Okay To Date A Married Woman?

The simple and short answer is no. It is complicated and not worth the risk and heartache to get into a relationship with a married woman. Becoming the third person in a marriage is not an option for a peaceful life. You might have started seeing a married woman with a distant hope that someday she might leave her husband for you. But what if it doesn’t happen and she leaves you with a broken heart?

If a partner is cheating on the spouse, it probably means they are running away from a relationship problem. But instead of confronting it, they choose to distract themselves with an extra-marital affair since it is a route to a momentary escape from reality. In case the couple ever decides to resolve their issues, you might find yourself at the losing end of this bargain.

But despite the risks, if you still find the idea of dating a married woman too tempting to let go, you should know its limitations. Also, you may have to follow a few rules.

15 Things To Consider When Dating A Married Woman

Here are a few points to keep in mind if you are dating a married woman.

1. Do not keep expectations

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It is clear to understand—do not hold any expectations from a married woman. You may think that if you love her sincerely, she might leave her husband and family for you. Even if she tells you the same explicitly, there is no guarantee about it. So, if you decide to get into a relationship, do not expect anything.

2. Do not expect to have a normal relationship

A relationship with a married woman is not usual. You cannot go out on dates or hold hands in public. Each time you meet her, you both might fear that it could be the last time you are together. The fear of being caught and the uncertain nature of the relationship can eventually take a toll on your relationship.

3. Remember you could be her revenge affair

She must be having an extra-marital affair because they suspect their husband of the same. They keep a relationship outside marriage only to get revenge upon their spouse. So, do not feed the fantasy that she loves you and will be with you forever. You are probably a way for her to get revenge on her husband.

4. Know that you only add spice to her life

Some partners who got bored of their marital life tend to look for a temporary relationship outside marriage. A relationship that gives her something that she lacks in her married life. There are high chances that she might eventually get bored of you and move on to her husband or another temporary relationship.

5. Decide the type of relationship you want

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In an intimate relationship, feelings are natural to develop over time. You need to clarify what kind of a relationship you are signing up for. Do not lead her on and then back out. Don’t make promises you cannot keep.

6. Be discreet

Complete indiscretion is a non-negotiable element in an extra-marital affair. You do not know where your dating with a married woman might lead to and whether it would be a success or not. Therefore, avoid sharing about it with others.

7. Be prepared for confrontation

There are chances that someday your affair will be discovered either by her family or by your folks, so you should be prepared for the confrontation. It could be especially tricky if the woman’s husband sets out to teach you a lesson. You may have to explain yourself multiple times, and it can be exhausting for you.

8. Remember her family will always be her priority

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You might have planned a beautiful date with her and informed her weeks in advance. But on the day, she chooses to be with her child or her mother-in-law and cancels your date. It shows her family is her priority, and not you.

9. Be prepared to detach at any point

At some point in life, when she starts feeling tired of having a secret relationship with you, she might get away from you. If you were emotionally attached to her, you might end up with a broken heart. To avoid heartache, you should avoid getting too attached to her.

10. Understand her feelings for her husband

While spending time with you, does she mention her husband a lot? For instance, you tell her about your trip to Japan, and she says her husband got her a kimono from Japan. If she mentions her husband often, it means he is on her mind most of the time, and she misses him.

11. Do not invade her personal space

If you are for her, do not make the mistake of visiting her workplace or home. It will jeopardize your place in her life. That’s another limitation of dating a married woman, as you have to be conscious about every step you take.

12. Do not fall for her

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It may so happen that what started as a friendly arrangement could end up in a one-sided love affair. If you start developing feelings for her, ask yourself if there is any future. If not, you will have to address your feelings soon before everything gets complicated for you.

13. Figure out if she is using you to vent out

If she cries and complains about her husband, she might be using you as an outlet to vent out her disappointments and frustrations. She needs someone to talk to. Once she is done venting, she may not be concerned about you. Or she may leave you with a ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’ note.

14. Accept its temporary nature

Dating a married woman comes with a deadline that is a hard pill to swallow. It is not something that will last years. She will eventually return to her husband and family, so there is no point in investing time, energy, and money into it.

15. Do not give up on a chance for commitment

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When involved with a married lady, if you happen to have a shot at real love, then grab it with both hands and leave this affair in your past. Do not act foolish and hope that the married lady will leave her family and come to you. It is a distant dream. So, never say no to real love when you come across.

1. What are the consequences of dating a married woman?

Dating or not dating a married woman is a personal choice, but being aware of the consequences is always better. When you date a married woman, you are never her top priority as she has family commitments as well. She might be physically engaged with her husband as well, putting you at the risk of STDs. You may also be manipulated emotionally and not really have any future with her.

2. How do I know if a married woman loves me?

If a married woman is interested in ways other than just friendship, you may look for these signs- prefers to go out with you rather than her husband, is curious to learn more about you, steals glances at you. She also compliments you, pays keen attention to your appearance, and rants with you about her husband and family.

The thought and experience of dating and getting involved with a married woman might seem interesting, but it comes with its fair share of complications and difficulties. The most important thing you should remember is that compromising on everything for this affair is not worth the risk, and it is purely temporary. Therefore, it is advised that you prepare yourself for confrontation soon and if you happen to find a true chance at love while in the affair, do not let it go.

Key Pointers

• Dating a married woman may be complicated and seldom has a future.
• You cannot expect the relationship to be normal and should be prepared to detach at any point.
• If you both are ready to adjust and clear on your boundaries, you may still have a relationship.

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Ratika has experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. After her masters degree in Commerce, she acquired a PG Diploma in Communication and Journalism from Mumbai University. She is inquisitive about human relationships and likes to study people and how they manage their relationships, during her freetime. At MomJunction, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on... more

Dee Gill is a Registered Clinical Counselor and a Canadian Certified Counsellor with over 30+ years of clinical experience in public and private practice. She has done her MA in Counseling Psychology from Adler University in Vancouver (Canada), BA from the University of Victoria (Canada), and Coaching Training from the Institute for Life Coach Training and Therapist University. She has... more