Reddit my parents irreparably damaged their relationship with me

I (17m) had knee surgery less than a month ago to repair a missing tendon.

Because of this surgery, I’ve been dependent on my family in an extremely uncomfortable way.

Normally, I’m a very reserved man. I spend most of my time in my room, alone, partially because my mother finds my vocal Stimming annoying. For context; I’m autistic and make little chirping noises when I’m happy sometimes.

I was put in an uncomfortable position, on a chair that hurt my back, surrounded by people, and being stuck there. I was, of course, not happy and fairly grumpy about it.

This caused my mom and I to “fight”

I wouldn’t call it fighting as much as it was my mother taking out all her negative emotions on me. Any time I gave a response with any modicum of “attitude” (aka me being deadpan like I normally am) she would blow up and start yelling at me.

If I defended myself, she called me a selfish brat who only cared about myself, because I OBVOUSLY don’t care about how this is all making her feel. I’m making it aalllll about me /sarc

Well, last Thursday, I woke up in excruciating pain.

I couldn’t breathe. Every inhale felt like I was being stabbed with 40 hot needles right in my lung, and I had to hunch myself over in a painful way to be able to take a breath.

Throughout all of this, my mother and grandmother were absolutely no help. Mom kept insisting I take some ibuprofen and deal with it. She wanted to just give me pain meds and make me stew in it all day, despite the fact that I couldn’t sit up to take any meds. She insisted it was a pulled muscle.

I knew it was something else, and I ended out right.

I, of course, as a dude with -5 pain tolerance, was screaming in pain. Literally fucking begging her to take me to the ER because I needed help. I just kept screaming at her “I need help”

She got frustrated with me. So frustrated, that she ended up sitting next to me on her phone for an hour while I was still screaming in pain at every inhale.

What the fuck kind of parent sits there and ignores their child suffering???

After a while my stepbrothers mom showed up to drop off a water bottle. She told me to STOP SCREAMING FOR A MOMENT SO SHE COULD ANSWER THE DOOR.

After about another half hour of this I started snapping at her. You know, as anyone fucking would if they’ve been sitting there screaming in pain being ignored.

I demanded to be taken to the ER. Demanded HELP. Demanded her to get off her ass and stop ignoring me.

She threatened to drop me off at my dads because I was making her feel like shit and , I quote, “You’re making me not want to help you. Nobody wants to help you when you’re like this.”

I told her that I was going to call my dad and have him bring me to the ER if she was so done with helping me.

She said she’d been telling my dad what an asshole I’ve been this entire time so go right ahead, he agrees with her.

So, dad calls.

The summary of that call is me begging the man who’s mentally abusive behavior assisted in giving me PTSD for help, to take me to the ER, anything.

And him telling me that I was ABUSING MY MOTHER by screaming at her.

“You’ve been nothing but ABUSIVE to that poor woman this entire time!”

As if she wasn’t the one telling me I’m a selfish, piece of shit brat who couldn’t give a damm about how I make others feel when I’ve been writhing in fucking pain for the past 12 days. (Spoiler alert, the pain meds they gave me didn’t work and made me have panic attacks. Thanks, oxy <3)

In the end, they made me stay home, on pain meds, barely able to breathe.

I wake up the next morning still in agony.

I go to the ER at 5am

Guess what?

I have a fucking PULMONARY EMBOLISM

Yep. Deadly fucking blood clot in my lung. Not a pulled muscle. The exact thing I fuckin told them it was.

I get sent out of state to one of the best hospitals in the northeast. Because you know, I could have fucking died.

None of them have apologized.

Not my mother for taking out all her own shit on me and telling me that I’m a manipulative bitch for expressing my own feelings

Not my grandmother for telling me she was going to put me in a rehab facility, where, and I quote; “you won’t have any of your friends or family to help you, so you better shape up before I drop your ass there” while I was having a panic attack

Not my father, for excusing my mothers horrible actions. Not for screaming at me every time I wailed in pain. Not for calling ME abusive for having panic attacks while my mother yelled at me.

None of them have apologized.

And honestly? I don’t think I’d forgive them if they did.

There’s not much they can do to fix that fucking hole in our relationship. Nothing they do or give me will ever make up for the time when I was dying and they screamed at me for being selfish.

My therapist knows. My friends know. And my parents will forever wonder why I don’t open up to them emotionally.

Edit: I haven’t really been on Reddit since this was posted and I’m a bit surprised this blew up. I just needed somewhere to vent for a bit so thank you all for listening.

To those asking me to get CPS Involved: this is VERY out of the ordinary for my parents. They aren’t like this, at all, under any normal circumstance. We’ve already decided not to go ahead with the next surgery (I was supposed to get both knees done) since this one has caused so much stress on us. Irregardless, I turn 18 in a week, CPS won’t do shit. They didn’t do anything when my friends mom died of a heroin overdose and they definitely won’t do anything for me.

I’m able to walk freely now and can get up to my room to destress so things have been a lot calmer. I still don’t think I’d forgive my parents for this, but at least now I can semi move on from it

Add on: to answer the most commonly asked question: I didn’t call an ambulance myself for a few reasons. Mostly because I couldn’t breathe.

Please STOP trying to give me advice. I don’t fucking want it. This is a venting post where I got my feelings out of my body. There are SO many reasons why I will not be doing any of that and I can’t even begin to explain them all. I don’t want advice. I want these feelings out of my brain before they hurt me.